Watchcat protocol CLXIII

Expect watchcats to check your shoes to see if they're comfortable enough to wear or lean against during their shift:

August 2006: Watchcats Sammy and Rosie assess the comfort level of a pair of shoes.

The right call

I remember waiting for the school bus with a friend 35 years ago.  As he shivered, huffed, and puffed his way to the bus stop through the snow, he said, "They should cancel school because it's so cold."

"Fat chance of that," I thought.  "Our district is one of the last ones in St. Louis to close, and the superintendent who decides that is from Minnesota; he sets a high bar for when it's too cold or snowy to go to school."

Although I'm a long time removed from those days, I'm glad that students in that district and many others here got to stay home today.  When you wake up to a temperature of -5 degrees, that's just not safe.

Watchcat protocol CLXII

There's something to be said for confidence.  Watchcat Headquarters encourages all watchcats to maintain an air of being ready to handle anything.  Rosie exemplified this recommendation in April 2003:

Watchcat protocol CLXI

Watchcat Headquarters doesn't always station its watchcats at the most obvious, centralized parts of a room:

January 2006: Watchcat Sammy settles in at his post.

Watchcat protocol CLX

Just because the watchcat is washing one of his paws doesn't mean he isn't keeping an eye on you:

March 2006: Watchcat Sammy washes a paw while on duty.

Watchcat protocol CLIX

Sometimes, a watchcat has to show an unruly sofa cover who's in charge, as Rosie did in 2008:

Watchcat protocol CLVIII

You can't always know that a watchcat's poltergeist eyes indicate rage, but they're effective in keeping intruders at bay:

April 2008: Watchcat Nemo keeps intruders away by displaying poltergeist eyes in two different colors.

Watchcat protocol CLVII

Want to make sure no one sneaks in and devours your groceries?  Post a watchcat in your kitchen:

2016: Watchcat Sylvia keeps an eye on the groceries.

A linguistic irritant LXXIV

It's off-putting, especially on reality shows, to hear anyone say, "I swear on (so-and-so's) life (or grave.)"

First and foremost, it's wrong to trivialize the life of anyone so important to you.  Secondly, you know God isn't likely to call you on that, at least while you're on Earth, so why swear on a person's life when it has no meaning?

Watchcat protocol CLVI

At the beginning of your watchcat shift, you might be full of energy and ready to pounce on anything that comes your way:

As the shift goes on, however, you'll realize that being a watchcat involves a lot of down time when nothing happens:

Nevertheless, as a professional, you'll still monitor your assigned sector from your post, as Rosie did in February 2009.

Watchcat protocol CLV

One task is uniquely suited for an outdoor watchcat--checking to make sure a barbecue grill works:

June 2003: Stray Cat inspects a grill.

Watchcat protocol CLIV

Watchcats might use you as a lookout post; take this as a compliment because it means they trust you:

May 2008: Watchcats Sammy and Rosie survey their assigned room from different vantage points.

Watchcat protocol CLIII

It isn't well-known, but watchcats are sometimes responsible for checking dolly wheels to make sure they're securely fastened and safe for transporting heavy items:

Spring 2007: Sammy approves a dolly as safe for transport.

Watchcat protocol CLII

Want to make sure no one walks off with your faucet or hand soap?  Post a watchcat near the sink:

Spring 2016: Watchcat Nemo makes sure no unauthorized visitors get near the kitchen sink.

A linguistic irritant LXXIII

It's advisable, when saying "Back then..." or "In those days...," to make sure a sufficient amount of time--measurable preferably in decades, at a minimum--has passed.  Otherwise, you're jumping the gun on your nostalgia.

Watchcat protocol CLI

When you're on duty with another watchcat but can't see if she's awake, you must remain alert:

March 2011:  Watchcat Sammy stays alert while Watchcat Rosie naps.

Only in college XI

You'd think this wouldn't have to be spelled out, but in one of my classes, the instructor spelled out in his syllabus, "Unless they involve mathematical errors, appeals to change grades, including parent phone calls, will be ignored."

A linguistic irritant LXXII

I don't always mind the phrase, "In those days...," but if someone's going to use it when talking with me, it's more appropriate if it refers to a time before I was born.

Watchcat protocol CL

You know a watchcat trusts you when she uses you as her lookout post:

Per Watchcat Headquarters, Rosie asked to see my ID before settling in on a May 2006 day.

Watchcat protocol CXLIX

Even during agility training, watchcats need to keep an eye on their surroundings:

Spring 2012: Watchcat Rosie doesn't let a cat toy keep her from doing her job.

Watchcat protocol CXLVIII

Per Watchcat Headquarters, all full-time watchcats are entitled to vacation time.  In this photo from 2004, Sammy is looking at the calendar, contemplating which days to request off.  Naturally, his sister, Rosie, kept an eye on things during Sammy's pondering:

Watchcat protocol CXLVII

When two watchcats share the same post, Watchcat Headquarters encourages each of them to monitor a different segment of the room:

2017: Watchcats Proxy Nemo and Nemo keep an eye on different parts of the living room.

Watchcat protocol CXLVI

Per Watchcat Headquarters, watchcats should police each other to make sure they're following proper protocol.  Watchcat Rosie is following this directive while monitoring Watchcat Sammy in 2011:

Watchcat protocol CXLV

Every once in a while, both watchcats on a shift will start feeling sleepy.  As long as they both keep at least one eye open at all times, however, Watchcat Headquarters accepts this:

2005: Watchcats Rosie and Sammy start feeling a bit drowsy.

Watchcat protocol CXLIV

I don't know what captured Rosie's attention here, but it wasn't enough of a threat for her to jump down from the counter.  I knew she was a good watchcat, so I trusted her judgment:

January 2004: Watchcat Rosie surveys the scene from her perch.

Watchcat protocol CXLIII

It's especially important for a watchcat to react quickly when seeing something suspicious.  Sylvia is doing that as she emerges from a grocery bag in 2010:

Watchcat protocol CXLII

Understandably, not every watchcat will want to use a cat carrier as their vantage point for monitoring intruders.  Some watchcats use it as their post, nevertheless, as Sylvia did in 2010:

Watchcat protocol CXLI

As a watchcat, you'll likely have a variety of assignments--and posts from which to keep an eye on things:

February 2006: Watchcat Sammy guards a hallway from his post on a table.

Watchcat protocol CXL

Watchcats are adept at checking box fans and will let you know if any of the blades are askew:

January 2005: Watchcat Sammy inspects a fan.

Watchcat protocol CXXXIX

Watchcats Rosie and Sammy look somewhat irked in this January 2005 photo, but that doesn't mean they weren't taking their museum guard duties seriously:

Watchcat protocol CXXXVIII

When beginning a shift, protocol calls for watchcats to inspect their assigned area as they approach it...

...and then settle in at their post:

January 2006: Sammy begins his watchcat shift.