Watchcat protocol DXLVIII

Two spaceships shaped like cat toys land within your assigned sector.  How should a watchcat respond?  Per Watchcat Headquarters, it's best to remain calm:

April 2006: Watchcat Sammy takes the arrival of two cat toy space capsules in stride.

When the news is too much with us VII

You know it has been a bad news week when you try to escape current happenings--and end up listening to a radio retrospective about the Kent State shootings 50 years ago.

I almost titled this, "When even the retro news is awful."

Watchcat protocol DXLVII

It's human (and feline) nature to succumb to a malaise now and then.  Nevertheless, a good watchcat will do her best to stay focused at her guard post:

Summer 2012: Despite feeling a bit fatigued, Watchcat Sylvia didn't stop guarding her assigned sector.

Watchcat protocol DXLVI

Some aspects of watchcat duty use the quid pro quo system.  In April 2006, Watchcat Sammy agreed to watch the hallway while Watchcat Rosie ate:

In exchange for this, Watchcat Rosie agreed to show Watchcat Sammy the proper way to attack a Cat Dancer toy:

Watchcat protocol DXLV

When a watchcat is in your face, it doesn't always mean she's angry with you.  Sometimes, she's just being responsible, carrying out her security duties:

May 27, 2020: Watchcat Lily is in your face--and vigilant.

Watchcat protocol DXLIV

Sometimes, a watchcat's eyes seem to tell intruders, "Look into my eyes."  Actually, what they really indicate is, "Look into my eyes, and know that I'll confront anyone who causes trouble."  Watchcat Nemo conveyed this clearly in June 2008:

Watchcat protocol DXLIII

Sometimes, a wide-eyed, wild-eyed look deters intruders.  Watchcat Sylvia demonstrated this in Spring 2011:

A linguistic irritant CVI

During this pandemic, I've read a few too many articles and heard a few too many radio pieces about the "ennui" people are feeling during quarantine.  If people are bored, just say they're bored.  A description of boredom doesn't need a pretentious upgrade.

Watchcat protocol DXLII

When necessary, a good watchcat is able to convey, "Think you'll get past me, do you?  We'll see about that."  Watchcat Collette projected this attitude earlier this Spring:

Watchcat protocol DXLI

A confident watchcat projects an aura of "I've got everything under control.  I've seen it all before."  Watchcat Lily gave off this vibe on Wednesday:

Watchcat protocol DXL

Just because a watchcat is washing her paw, it doesn't mean she won't stop to admonish an intruder.  Watchcat Lily illustrated this quick-witted security tactic yesterday:

A linguistic irritant CV

Is it wrong to wish a flat tire upon someone in a "VIP" parking space?  Such spaces have become increasingly common at a garage where I sometimes park.  If the spaces were just marked "Reserved Parking" instead of "VIP Parking," it wouldn't bother me.

That Very Important Person abbreviation, though, just irks me.  It reminds me of the sign a student on my dorm floor put up on his door.  During finals week, he posted a sign that read, "Please do not bother John.*  He is studying for finals."

One of his neighbors posted a sign below John*'s sign reading, "Please do not bother John.*  He has no time for peasants like you."

Ordinarily, I don't advocate dorm neighbors posting such follow-up signs.  In that case, however...

*=not his real name

Watchcat protocol DXXXIX

Is the watchcat staring into your soul?  If you have to ask, you probably know the answer:

2005: Watchcat Sammy sees right through visitors from his rocking chair guard post.

Watchcat protocol DXXXVIII

Don't take it personally if you're a visitor, and you find four cat eyes on you.  It doesn't mean you're a suspect; it just means the watchcats are vigilant:

December 2010: Watchcats Sammy and Rosie keep their eyes on a visitor to their assigned sector.

Watchcat protocol DXXXVII

Watchcat Headquarters advises having a backup watchcat nearby, in case the main watchcat on duty develops poltergeist eyes:

Watchcats Rosie and Sammy were there for each other when this rare condition affected them in April 2011.

Watchcat protocol DXXXVI

"So, intruders think they'll get past me," Watchcat Sammy seemed to be thinking in October 2008.  "That won't happen because I've got a book I can use as a weapon!"  Actually, he was probably just thinking about his next meal, but nevertheless, he had a book ready to use as a weapon:

Watchcat protocol DXXXV

You know your proxy watchcat can handle guard duty when you take a nap break and are able to leave her in charge temporarily:

Summer 2018: Proxy Sylvia takes over guard duty temporarily while Watchcat Sylvia snoozes.

Watchcat protocol DXXXIV

"Think you can surprise me with your impromptu Cat Damcer toy agility training?" Watchcat Rosie seems to be asking. "I'm ready for it."  That was apparently the case in November 2010:

Watchcat protocol DXXXIII

You don't have to have a menacing, ready-for-anything countenance on watchcat duty...

...but it doesn't hurt:

September 2012: Watchcat Rosie stares down intruders.

A linguistic irritant CIV

Decades later, I still think, "It was English class, not Language Arts.  We didn't diagram sentences with paint on a canvas, so it was English class."

Also, it was History class, not Social Studies.  We didn't wish each other many happy returns of the day while offering each other tea.

Looking back, it's a wonder math classes weren't known as Numerical Exploration Studies.

Preventing havoc

My cat, Collette, throws herself into playing with her Kitty Chase laser toy.  Twice in recent days, after knocking the toy on its side, she contorted herself into a circle and attempted to catch the dot as it rotated past her.  At other times, she has plowed through anything in her path to catch the elusive laser dot.

I'm purposely not telling her about Pokemon Go.

A Mother's Day ponderable

When I adopted my cat, Collette, a shelter worker told me she might have had kittens.  I don't have confirmation of that from the shelter, though--or from Collette.  If there are little Collettes, or Whiskers, or Mittens, or other cat children of hers in this world, though, I hope they're doing well--and that they remember their mother cat fondly.  I also hope Collette has reciprocal warm memories of them.

Spring 2020: Collette, sleeping peacefully on the sofa.  (She wasn't on watchcat duty at the time.)

Watchcat protocol DXXXII

I'm not sure how a watchcat uses this cat toy as a weapon, but Watchcat Rosie assured me in February 2004 that it's quite effective:

Watchcat protocol DXXXI

Neither Watchcat Sylvia nor Watchcat Headquarters understood why the backup watchcardinal insisted on being upside down, but they trusted the bird's judgment in Summer 2015:

Watchcat protocol DXXX

No intruder wants to be bopped over the head with a cat brush.  Watchcat Sammy was prepared if it came to that in May 2013, however:

Watchcat protocol DXXIX

To my knowledge, there has never been a sitcom about two watchcats from different backgrounds.  If such a show existed, its opening credits might take their cue from "The Odd Couple" and ask, "Can two watchcats from different backgrounds share a pad and monitor their assigned sector without driving each other crazy?"

Yes, they can.  Watchcat Lily and Proxy Nemo proved this tonight while monitoring the same area of their assigned sector...

...and different segments of it:

Watchcat protocol DXXVIII

When reality dissolves into a muddled blur, it's a tall order for a watchcat to stay focused.  Nevertheless, Watchcat Sammy kept his eye on his assigned sector commendably in Summer 2009:

Watchcat protocol DXXVII

I'm proud of Watchcat Collette's dedication today.  Despite a thunderstorm rattling her and a temptation to sleep, she kept her eyes on the shoes Watchcat Headquarters asked her to guard:

Watchcat protocol DXXVI

Intruders planning on ascending the steps should think twice.  You never know when a menacing watchcat will be there to halt your progress:

July 2012: Watchcat Rosie has her no-nonsense stare ready for intruders.

Watchcat protocol DXXV

It's important for a watchcat to stress the importance of being alert at all times.  Watchcat Nemo enlightened his backup watchmouse about this in 2009:

Watchcat protocol DXXIV

There's nothing like the peace of mind that comes with knowing your music collection is well-protected:

October 2014: Watchcat Sylvia and her backup watchanimals keep tabs on the CDs.