A linguistic irritant L

In recent years, I've heard people below a certain age on sitcoms and in commercials say, "totes," a few too many times.  Due to my advanced age and whatever shreds of curmudgeonly dignity I have left, I'm sticking with the three-syllable original, "totally."

Finding the right frame

It doesn't usually work for humans to pose under a chair, but for a cat, the right chair makes a suitable frame:

Late May 2003: Sammy sits under a chair.

A considerate calico

It was considerate of Rosie to make sure she had clean paws before setting foot on the carpet:

April 2006: Rosie shows proper paw-washing decorum.

Sammy's shelter from the storm

During a storm in May 2008, Sammy went to his hiding place:

If you can fit under the sink, and the space comforts you, why not use it?

Siesta time

Being well-rested is important.  Just ask any cat.  Rosie and Sammy knew the value of a good nap on a Summer day in 2003:

Sign of an open mind

Per Sammy, rubbing your face against the edge of the microwave feels good.  Rosie looks like she was considering it in June 2005:

Truth in advertising? XIX

I saw the new incarnation of Nexium from a distance and thought, "That can't be right, can it?"  From a distance, it looked like the label read, "ClearMints."  As I walked closer to the shelf, I saw that it said, "ClearMinis," as in smaller capsules. That made more sense, but in a world where nearly every taste can be satiated, it seems plausible that someone would create reflux medication with a minty aftertaste.

Long live newsprint!

Yesterday, while sitting in the waiting room during my car's oil change, I was pleased to see the majority of us reading books, newspapers, and magazines instead of staring at our phones.  It's reassuring to see that some of us still value printed material; you see that less and less these days.

Toy tabby or real tabby?

Although she looks like the prototype for a cuddly tabby toy in this photo, Sylvia is a real tabby:

Fall 2009: Sylvia claims my jacket for herself.

A linguistic irritant XLIX

I've heard the expression far more often in sitcoms than in real life.  Still, it irks me whenever anyone says, "Now, if you'll excuse me..."  Are you asking my permission?  No.  You're going to do whatever you're planning anyway, so why the meaningless preface?

Truth in advertising? XVIII

The "You're not you when you're hungry" Snickers ad campaign has amused me in recent years.  If you've walked past a vending machine or store display recently, you've probably seen Snickers bars that answer the question, "Who are you when you're hungry?"  The labels say such things as "cranky" or "irritable."  Today, I noticed the descriptions have veered into more combative territory, as some wrappers read "troublemaker" and "hot mess."  I'd like to see a contentious sitcom scene in which two characters argue while standing in front of a vending machine whose candy bar wrappers all read "berserk," "manic," "unhinged," etc.

A linguistic irritant XLVIII

Actually, the expression, "Have a nice day," doesn't really bother me.  A lot of times, though, I think I prefer former KMOX talk show host Jim White's admonition to callers, "Have any kind of day you want," or sometimes, one sales clerk's sign-off, "Have a good day today and an even better day tomorrow."  I like that one of those expressions puts control in one's own hands, and the other expression offers hope that things will get progressively better.

Always ready for the spotlight

Standing in front of your sibling cat this way doesn't show a generosity of spirit.  It does, however, let you claim the spotlight:

July 2003: Rosie posing in front of Sammy.

It's not a law, but...

...it's nice to be in harmony with one's doppelganger:

2013: Proxy Nemo and Nemo.

No day is a complete failure when...

...you've made your cat happy:

May 2006: Rosie, curled up blissfully.

How to convey that you're a learned cat...

...You pose with books in the background, as Rosie did in May 2006:

A long time ago? Sort of, but...

Twenty-five years ago today, I graduated from college.  Does that feel like a long time ago to me?  Yes--and no.  The world has changed a lot in the past quarter-century.  On the other hand, if I use the ancient montage test, it doesn't feel so long ago.  When I look back at my college years, I don't see the highlights through sepia-tinted lenses, underscored with ragtime music.  The memories are old ones, yes--but not that old.

Overly clarified file names

When I think about it, it amuses me that I've created files of cat photos titled "Rosie the cat," "Sammy the cat," "Nemo the cat," and "Sylvia the cat."  As if I'd ever forget that Rosie, Sammy, Nemo, and Sylvia are cats...

Watchcat protocol XIV

Sylvia took Sammy's advice about keeping watch over the property in a not-so-obvious place:

April 2011: Sylvia on watchcat duty.

Watchcat protocol XIII

Sometimes, it makes sense for a watchcat to set up shop in a not-so-obvious place:

October 2002: Sammy watching from a bag for intruders.

A bit of frivolity is fine...

...as long as you let the camera capture you in a flattering pose.  That was Rosie's credo, at least, in April 2003:

Wedged in but comfortable

This doesn't seem comfortable, but Sammy had no problem with it in 2006:

A linguistic irritant XLVII

It's a relief not to have heard anyone puncture someone's unrealistic request with a rude "As if!"  Thank you, world.

Declaring victory over a cat toy

Sometimes, it isn't enough to just play with a cat toy.  It's more satisfying to tie it around yourself and put your paws on it:

2005: Rosie conquers the mouse-on-a-stick cat toy.

Truth in advertising? XVII

Aspirin commercials perplex me sometimes.  It puzzles me when someone in his or her 30s or 40s claims not to know which headache remedy to use.  I always think, "Virtually everyone on the planet has experienced headaches by your age.  What did you do before?  If it worked, why not try that again?"

"Where were you on the night of the 24th?"

Poor Nemo...Whenever I look at this photo from 2013, I feel sorry for him.  It looks like he's being interrogated:

Staying on top of the news

If you're not caught up with the newspapers yet, and you're not ready for them to be recycled, it's best to get into the recycling bin and claim them.  This tactic worked for Sammy in 2008:

The comfort of sitting in a bag

Sammy and Rosie try sitting in a bag in October 2002:

It was unusual for Rosie to sit in a bag, so it was nice to see Sammy congratulate her for branching out:

No doubt about whose blanket this was...

...In August 2004, it was Rosie's:

Censoring your hedgehog

Sometimes, you sense that your hedgehog is about to express an ill-considered opinion.  When that happens, it's advisable to take matters into your own paws, as Sylvia did in 2012:

Carving out space within a limited space

This isn't a particularly roomy space for a cat, but Sylvia favored it briefly:

2009: Sylvia sitting within a step stool.  If cat confessionals existed, the setup might look something like this.