Watchcat protocol XXXIV

Per official watchcat regulations, it's permissible to use your doppelganger as a backup watchcat:

October 2012: Watchcat Nemo and his doppelganger, Proxy Nemo.

Watchcat protocol XXXIII

You don't usually expect to see your watchcat lying upside down on the stereo.  As long as she's alert, though, it's not against protocol:

2011: Sylvia keeps her eyes open while surveying the living room from the top of the stereo.

Watchcat protocol XXXII

Inevitably, watchcats will need to take cat naps.  This is fine if at least one watchcat is awake and alert:

2004: Watchcat Rosie stays alert while Watchcat Sammy naps.

Watchcat protocol XXXI

I don't know what Sammy and Rosie spotted on a March day in 2004, but apparently, it was a serious menace that Watchcat Headquarters had predicted.  Thus, the situation called for two watchcats:

Watchcat protocol XXX

When two watchcats are assigned to the same sector, it's sometimes necessary for one watchcat to check on the other periodically:

July 2004: Watchcat Rosie keeps an eye on Watchcat Sammy...

...as he patrols the basement hallway from the floor.

A linguistic irritant LVIII

I've never confirmed this, but I'm fairly certain my blood pressure rises when I read the word, "moreover."  I've always found that word stodgy and too legalistic.  Why use it when you can use "also," "besides," "in addition," or simply "too?"

Proposed proverb revision

It's said that adversity reveals character.  If that's true, the way I just reacted to a lost Internet connection might net me at least a few days in Purgatory.  Maybe the saying should be, "Adversity reveals character at a person's worst points."

Context? II

Once, while paying for my purchases at 7-Eleven, a clerk asked me, "So, are you hunting ducks this morning?"

I'd never hunted ducks or any other animal and had no desire to start.

"No," I said, taken aback.

"Oh," he replied.  "Some duck hunters were just here."

 As random banter goes, that was a tad bizarre.

Watchcat protocol XXIX

Generally, watchcats don't pose for photos:

They concentrate on monitoring their assigned property, as Rosie and Sammy did in 2009.

Of course, as Rosie would have been quick to point out, this isn't an absolute rule.

Thought I was buying breakfast for myself...

...but Rosie, the defiant calico, had other plans:

2006: Rosie, sitting defiantly on the countertop waiting for breakfast and then claiming it for herself.

Watchcat protocol XXVIII

Although it's important to have watchcats indoors, it's also advisable to have a watchcat stationed outside at a site that intruders won't detect:

July 2004: Stray Cat watches the backyard.

Watchcat protocol XXVII

One Summer day in 2003, Watchcat Headquarters decided that guarding the basement hallway required two watchcats.  Thus, Rosie monitored the hallway from the counter...

...and Sammy monitored the hallway from the floor:

I'm not sure why this assignment required two watchcats; the rationale is still classified.

"Yo! Hire me..."

Someone on my college dorm floor once asked me to edit a cover letter he planned to send to prospective employers.  The opening read, "My name is John David Smith.*  No brag, just fact."

"I wouldn't write, 'No brag, just fact,'" I told him.  "That's not going to get you hired."

I'm glad I said that to him because if I hadn't, this realization might have gone unexplained, and he might not have imagined that the sentence would turn employers off.

*not his real name

"And, naturally, the undone is the unfinished..."

My brother reminded me tonight about a sentence I had to edit in someone's college paper.  I've forgotten the assigned topic, but all these years later, I still remember the author's cryptic sentence, "Of course, the unseen is the unknown, and the unknown is usually the unexplained, therefore being difficult to imagine."  I've forgotten how I edited it; most likely, I asked the author to delete the sentence.  Then again, I might have written, "What????????," in the margin.

I imagine many teachers would have reacted similarly.

Watchcat protocol XXVI

Sometimes, a watchcat's vantage point isn't one to which humans can relate.  When Sammy and Rosie were on kitchen watchcat duty in October 2004, they stood guard in a paper bag:

Watchcat protocol XXV

Sometimes, it's necessary for watchcats to split up and patrol different sectors.  One day in 2005, Sammy kept watch over a new table by sitting on it.  He also watched part of the basement while Rosie kept an eye on the utility room:

Watchcat protocol XXIV

As long as you're alert, you can still carry out your museum watchcat duties from a comfy chair:

Summer 2005: Rosie and Sammy, keeping an eye on things from their chair.

Watchcat protocol XXIII

Sometimes, watchcats are assigned to patrol not only their residence but their neighborhood, as well:

2008: Rosie keeps watch over the street.

Saving the earth--at least a little bit

Six current and former neighbors have kindly told me, "Good for you," or "That's a great thing to do," while I was walking to my car. 

Was I touting a vaccine I'd discovered? 

No.  I was headed to the recycling center with newspapers, bottles, and cans each time.

A "just because" expedition

It's probably for the best that I've never interviewed a mountain climber.  I can just imagine that:

Me: So, why did you climb the mountain?
Climber: As the saying goes, "Because it was there."
Me: That justifies nothing.

To each, his or her own, though, I guess...

Watchcat protocol XXII

People don't usually expect watchcats to survey their assigned property from under dining room chairs.  Thus, that's a good vantage point from which to keep an eye on things:

July 2008: Watchcats Rosie and Sammy under the dining room chairs.

"Felines and canines, unite!"

While waiting at the vet's office this morning, a front desk worker said, "It's time to start the Revolution."  I knew she was referring to Revolution flea treatment for someone else's pet, but I couldn't resist exclaiming, "Power to the people!"  Then, all of the cats and dogs in the office, including my own cat, followed me out to the parking lot.  We marched peacefully, carrying signs that called for a return to more civil times.  The activists are right; change begins at the local level.

I'll let the reader decide where my recollections switched from facts to fiction.

Watchcat protocol XXI

It's fine for watchcats to snuggle up with a pair of shoes--as long as they keep watching their assigned area:

June 2006: Rosie and shoes.

Watchcat protocol XX

Watchcat duties will sometimes include looking after luggage.  This was the case for Rosie and Sammy in 2007:

Truth in advertising? XXI

It always puzzles me when any product promotes what should be a basic feature as one of its selling points.  I expect toothpaste to fight cavities, for instance.  If you want my business, tell me how your toothpaste prevents cavities more effectively than other toothpastes.  If your ads take the lazy, "provides the basic function of what toothpastes traditionally do" approach, you might as well just say, "Better than brushing your teeth with dirt!"

Watchcat protocol XIX

When two watchcats are on duty, only one of them can be distracted by a Cat Dancer toy.  The other must keep monitoring the assigned property:

July 2006: Sammy, Rosie, and the Cat Dancer.

Nothing like a comfy pair of shoes

Here are Sammy and Rosie in September 2006, enjoying a comfy pair of shoes in their unique ways:

I doubt it would have surprised me to see either of them walking around in those shoes.

If you're taking photos of fireworks tonight...

...I  hope the resolution in them is similar to this...

...Those were the fireworks on a cold, clear night when downtown Kirkwood welcomed in the new year of 2016.  May the resolution not be so much like this...

...on the hot, hazy night of downtown Kirkwood's July 4, 2017 celebration.

Here's hoping everyone takes sharply focused fireworks photos--and stays safe.

A contemplative tabby

Sylvia's expression in this photo from April 2011 was a prelude to deep questions:

She asked me, "Why are we all here?  What is our place in this universe?"  (Actually, she just meowed, but I knew what she meant.)  Seven years later, we still don't have those answers.

Supposedly righteous indignation

Although I'm not one to honk the car horn, I'm not the most patient person when it comes to surprise delays and obstacles on the road.  Today, to quell my irritation, I started expressing mock frustration while driving.  When someone turned rather abruptly, I said to myself, "Of all the nerve...Who do these people think they are, living in that house and turning into their driveway?"  When I had to drive around a bulldozer parked in a lane, I said, "Of all the nerve...Parking a device on the street that'll fill in the potholes, smooth out the surface of this road, and keep my car from bouncing into the air..."  When I had to wait longer than usual to make a turn, I said, "Honestly...What are these people doing on this road, driving in a perfectly safe and legal manner and heading to their destinations, just as I am?"

I felt better--and amused--when I arrived home.

Watchcat protocol XVIII

When one watchcat takes a break, the other watchcat must keep watch over the area:

Being ready for a close-up isn't required, but Rosie used to throw that in as a bonus.  In this 2005 photo, Sammy takes a nap while Rosie monitors the basement.