Watchcat protocol CCCXCIX

Understandably, a watchcat not only guards her assigned sector but her property, as well.  In April 2012, Watchcat Sylvia stayed close to her Senses toy:

Watchcat protocol CCCXCVIII

A skilled watchcat can wash her paws while watching for intruders peripherally.  Watchcat Sylvia demonstrated her mastery of this in April 2011:

Watchcat protocol CCCXCVII

Want to find out what's happening in your community?  Head to the nearest watchcat-patrolled newsstand:

November 2010: Watchcat Sylvia presides over issues of various newspapers and magazines.

Watchcat protocol CCCXCVI

Do you keep a sharp eye on your surroundings?  Do you relish the thought of keeping hooligans out of an assigned sector?  Does the thought of keeping an area secure make you lick your chops?  If so, a watchcat career might be your calling.

December 2012:  Watchcat Sylvia shows her zeal for security work.

Watchcat protocol CCCXCV

You know a watchcat means business when she opens her eyes this wide--and has a backup watchfox helping to guard her assigned sector.  Watchcat Sylvia and her watchfox kept their assigned sector secure in 2008:

I know life doesn't work this way, but...

As I continue to grapple with yesterday's awful turn of events, I keep thinking about something I would tell my cat, Sylvia, when she wasn't eating enough. 

"Sylvia, please eat," I'd say.  "I need you to be immortal.  In fact, I want everyone in my family, humans and cats alike, to live forever."

I know life doesn't work that way, but that didn't stop me from telling Sylvia.  It won't stop me from wishing that my next cat has eternal life, either.

In memory of Sylvia the cat

October 2012: Sylvia curled up with me on the sofa. 

Fall 2009: Contemplative Sylvia in her cat bed.

I'm so upset.  This morning, Sylvia succumbed to her kidney and liver diseases.  Her absence leaves a huge void, as I could not have adopted a sweeter, more good-natured cat.  Actually, she chose me just as much at the shelter in 2008.  Upon meeting me, she meowed happily, jumped into my lap, and purred with the strength of 10 cats.  To this day, that's still the best example I've ever seen of anyone saying, "Pick me!"  Thus began over 11 wonderful years of cat companionship.

Frequently, when I'd attempt to get up from the sofa, Sylvia would try to prevent me from leaving.  Even with her eyes closed, she'd stretch a paw out across me as if to say, "You're staying right here!" Similarly, when I'd try to read a book or newspaper, she'd often sit down on me until her paws were on my neck and she was looking right in my eyes.  She'd then do at least one nose touch with me to convince me to stay.  I didn't mind holding my reading material off to the side because I knew she was happy.

Four days ago, Sylvia walked into my home office and jumped onto my lap.  I cradled her in my arms and told her how much she means to me; I told her how lucky we were to have found each other, how we're a great team, and reminisced about memorable things she'd done over the years.  As I looked into her eyes, saw the serene expression on her face, and heard that same lion-like purr I'd first heard in 2008, I knew she understood--and agreed with me.

Sylvia and I had a wonderful simpatico bond.  That's why I love her, miss her, and will never forget her.

A linguistic irritant XCIV

Sometimes, I think things in my life are going well.  I express this by saying, "Things are going well."  Under no circumstances do I convey this by saying, "Things are hunky-dory." To me, hunky-dory sounds like the name of a Spam byproduct or a device used to rehang a door that's not centered.  At times, things might be fine with me--but never hunky-dory.

Watchcat protocol CCCXCIV

Printer not working properly?  Ask a watchcat to check it for you:

November 2005: Watchcat Rosie inspects a printer.  By meowing at it sternly, she got it to start printing again.

Watchcat protocol CCCXCIII

I'm not sure why Watchcat Headquarters asked Watchcat Rosie to guard a drop cloth in 2012, but she carried out her assignment flawlessly:

Watchcat protocol CCCXCII

Want to make sure no one walks off with your new night table?  Ask a watchcat to guard it--by sitting on it:

August 2005: Watchcat Sammy keeps intruders from taking a night table by using it as his guard post.

Watchcat protocol CCCXCI

Watchcat Headquarters doesn't require it, but some watchcats like using a backrest as their guard post.  It elevates them and gives them additional authority:

April 2010: Watchcat Sylvia is ready to pounce from her backrest, if necessary.

Watchcat protocol CCCXC

Sometimes, a suspicious insect or other low-to-the-ground intruder will appear in a watchcat's assigned sector.  Before assuming the worst and overreacting, however, an experienced watchcat and her backup will assess the situation:

Summer 2017: Proxy Sylvia and Watchcat Sylvia monitor the security situation on the living room floor.

Watchcat protocol CCCLXXXIX

Watchcat Sammy felt a sense of commitment during museum guard duty.  He could have been traipsing among the sculptures, but he stayed in the guard's chair to keep an eye on visitors:

November 2004: Watchcat Sammy surveys his assigned museum sector.

Watchcat protocol CCCLXXXVIII

Once you've shown Watchcat Headquarters that you're taking your watchcat job seriously, they'll reward you with a fortress:

December 2014: Watchcat Sylvia monitors her assigned sector from her fortress.

Watchcat protocol CCCLXXXVII

Per Watchcat Headquarters, it's permissible to drink water from a faucet while on guard duty, provided you keep your eyes open and continue monitoring your assigned sector:

 November 15, 2019: Watchcat Sylvia stays hydrated while on the job.

A linguistic irritant XCIII

When a judge renders a verdict in a bench trial, it strikes me as pretentious to say, "In the opinion of this court..."  Considering just one person is making a decision, it seems more appropriate to say, "In my judgment..."

Watchcat protocol CCCLXXXVI

Watchcat Headquarters sometimes tests its watchcats by seeing how they'd react to an adversary on a string.  In March 2004, Watchcat Rosie passed her simulation exercise against a toy bear:

Watchcat protocol CCCLXXXV

As unlikely as it sounds, the watchcat and watchmouse communities have a cooperative arrangement.  In this photo from July 2011, a watchmouse had just whispered sensitive security information gleaned from Watchcat Headquarters to Watchcat Nemo:

Watchcat protocol CCCLXXXIV

At least once during a watchcat's tenure, a Watchcat Headquarters representative will ask if (s)he understands the importance of undercover watchcat protocol.  On November 7, 2019, Watchcat Lily looked up when she was asked this:

"Do I understand the importance of being undercover?" she replied with her eyes.  "Yes!  I'm under the cover right now."  Watchcat Headquarters accepted her answer and hasn't questioned her judgment since then:

Watchcat protocol CCCLXXXIII

There's a sly smile watchcats sometimes exhibit; it stems from knowing they'll be ready to stave off marauders who peer under the bed:

November 10, 2019: Watchcat Lily smiles while guarding her assigned sector under the bed.

Watchcat protocol CCCLXXXII

While Watchcat Sammy took a nap break one Fall day in 2003, Watchcat Rosie remained vigilant:

Motivational speaking?

A former co-worker at a previous job jokingly advised new employees, "Remember, there are a lot of stupid questions, so always be afraid to ask."  When the company was understaffed, he'd also joke, "It's like I always tell kids, 'Drop out of school.'"

I still think both remarks strike the right balance of humor and seriousness needed at most workplaces.

Watchcat protocol CCCLXXXI

Sometimes, it's appropriate for a watchcat to convey, "I'm an old hand at this.  You're safe with me as your watchcat.  In fact, I'm so confident in my abilities, I can narrow my eyes while on guard duty."  Watchcat Rosie exhibited this attitude in January 2006:

Watchcat protocol CCCLXXX

A watchcat can relax a little when a watchbird backup is nearby:

Summer 2016: Watchcat Sylvia and her watchbird blue jay backup have the living room's security needs covered.

Watchcat protocol CCCLXXIX

Being a watchcat requires being able to notice and react quickly to sudden sights and sounds.  I'm not sure what triggered Watchcat Lily's attention on October 25, 2019, but I assume it was significant:

Watchcat protocol CCCLXXVIII

When Watchcat Headquarters requests it, a watchcat will guard your shoes:

He might, however, claim the shoes for himself temporarily, as Watchcat Sammy did in October 2006:

Watchcat protocol CCCLXXVII

A watchcat can convey a lot with her eyes.  In this scene from October 2006, Watchcat Rosie's look conveyed, "I know Watchcat Headquarters doesn't permit me up here except in extreme instances, but this is an extreme situation.  How do you know that bagel and coffee you bought are safe to consume?  I'll taste them for you to make sure."  Watchcat Rosie was considerate that way:

Watchgoose protocol III

Although watchgeese are entitled to breaks, they aren't all supposed to take their down time at the same time.  In this Fall 2007 scene at Des Peres Park, a supervisory watchgoose is about to ask the watchgeese to stagger their breaks more effectively:

Watchcat protocol CCCLXXVI

Sometimes, watchcats, despite their best intentions, will cover the eyes of their proxy watchcat backups inadvertently.  As long as this is a temporary situation and the primary watchcat is alert, with other backup nearby, Watchcat Headquarters will overlook this:

October 2019: Watchcat Sylvia, with partially obscured Proxy Sylvia and other backup animals.