Watchcats on break XVI

For years, when I've been about to sleep or work from home at night, I've told Watchcat Sylvia or Watchcat Collette, "See you later with breakfast."

I'm not sure what response I expect, but it just feels right to say it.

Watchcats on break XV

Watchcat Sylvia's tactic for getting me to stay curled up on the sofa longer was to purr like a steam engine. Typically, our routine went like this:

Me: OK, Sylvia, I've enjoyed our quality cat time, but I need to go take care of some things.

Sylvia: Purr, purr, purr, purr!

Me: I know.  I'd rather stay here, but I've got to get some things done before it gets too late.

Sylvia: Purr, purr, purr, purr!!!

Me: I'm sorry, but I've had enough sleep for the time being.  I really need to get up now.

Sylvia (while extending a paw to block me from getting up:) PURR, PURR, PURR, PURR!!!!!

Me: Well, I guess 15 or 20 more minutes of sleep won't hurt...

Sylvia: PURR, PURR, PURR, PURR!!!!!!!

Me: ...Or 30 minutes...

Sylvia: PURR, PURR, PURR, PURR!!!!!!!!!

Me: ...Or another hour...I can spare that, I think...

What can I say?  It's flattering when your cat wants you around.

Watchcats on break XIV

I wish Watchcat Collette would understand that when I'm unhooking her claws from the sofa's throw cover, I'm trying to help her.  More often than not, she attempts to bite me.

You'd think she'd welcome not being stuck in one place.

Watchcats on break XIII

As Watchcat Collette reminded me recently, the 15-second rule when dancing one's cat around always applies, even when the music is as catchy as "American Top 40"'s mid '70s to early '80s closing theme, "Shuckatoom," or the Aragorn Ballroom Orchestra's "Theme From 'The Lord Of The Rings.'"

Fair enough.  That's Collette's prerogative. 

Watchcats on break XII

One day last year, after getting home from work, Watchcat Collette rubbed her face against my feet contentedly--and then bit each foot once.

That, in a nutshell, is her duality.  She'll show you happy she is that you've returned and how cross she is that you went away in the first place.

Watchcats on break XI

When dancing a cat around, it's wise to respect her limitations.  After 15 seconds of moving Watchcat Collette around in time to music, I know that's when the fidgeting--and possibly biting--will start, so all cat dances must be abbreviated ones.  It's only right.

Watchcats on break X

I've been under the weather for several days, and when feeling sluggish, it's comforting to slumber on the couch with Watchcat Collette nearby, slumbering away and purring.

After hours of this, I start to envy Watchcat Collette, as I remember that sleeping peacefully for hours is customary for cats.

What a pleasant life Collette has--and, by attempting to rest, I can capture some of that blissful life for myself.

Watchcats on break IX

I've had a recurring dream in which I'm sitting on a park bench, grousing about the state of the world to Watchcat Lily and Watchcat Collette.  I ask them, "Well, what are you going to do, though, Lily?  Whar are you going to do, though, Collette?"

Watchcat Lily then launches into a monologue in which her meowing, when translated to English, is, "Oh, I have problems myself.  Did I tell you about the time recently when my guardian went downstairs to get the mail and left me alone for all of two minutes?"

Then, Watchcat Collette suggests a solution to life's irritants.  Her meows-to-English translation is, "Bite your enemies.  Bite them--or let me bite them!"

It amuses me that even in a dream, both cats stay true to their personalities.

Watchcats on break VIII

Those who listen to records while their cat snuggles with them will likely relate to this: One side of an album ends.  You'd like to flip it over and listen to the other side, or you'd like to put on another LP.  Your cat, however, has taken the time to knead you thoroughly, settle in on you, and sleep blissfully.  You don't want to risk disturbing her, especially considering that she has claws and tends to bite you.

How do you react?  If you're like me, and your cat is like Watchcat Collette, you stay where you are, longer--sometimes hours longer--than you intended in silence.

Sometimes, it's just pragmatic to keep the peace. 

Watchcats on break VII

For a while this afternoon, I thought I'd lost my cell phone.  I pounded on counters and swore as I tried to find it.  (Sidebar: If it's true that adversity reveals character, I'm not sure I like what this says about me.  Actually, I think a more accurate expression would be, "Adversity reveals character during a person's most irritated state.")

As I ran around in a frenzy, Watchcat Collette noticed my angst and ran alongside me.  I appreciated her respecting my ire and picking up on the situation's urgency.  I'm sure that if she'd been allowed outside, she would have spotted the phone where I eventually found it--under the driver's side car seat.

At least, I'm sure she would have applauded.

Watchcats on break VI

Recently, I tried to reason with Watchcat Collette.  When she kept meowing and leading me over to the room where I keep the cat food, I told her, "Look, you just had a full meal.  I know that because I gave it to you.  You'll get another meal and a snack later, but it isn't time for that yet."

For some reason, that didn't deter Collette from making her case more insistently.  Eventually, I gave in and let her have a small snack.

So much for irrefutable logic.

Watchcats on break V

Sometimes, when Watchcat Rosie and Watchcat Sammy had spats, they'd start licking each other, ostensibly lovingly at first, but then increasingly aggressively.  Eventually, they'd start hitting each other.  Finally, they'd put a paw on each other's heads to say, "Stop that."

It was always reassuring to see them settle their differences with that paw-on-the-head signal of a truce.

Watchcats on break IV

Watchcat Rosie was a great, take-charge security guard but didn't quite master the art of undercover guard duty.  She'd get under a sofa cover, acting as though she was hidden, even though I could see her tail and two of her paws.  Once, she was almost completely hidden, except for one paw sticking out from the cover.  I told her, "I see you!"  It amused me that she retracted her paw quickly.  I humored her for the rest of the morning, pretending not to know where she was.  I thought, "Why not let her have this illusion?"

Watchcats on break III

It puzzles me that my current cat, Watchcat Collette, and previous cat, Watchcat Sylvia, have the common bond of enjoying lettuce.  I've eaten a fair amount of salad, but salad dressing is mandatory for a salad to be palatable, I think.  I can't imagine just eating lettuce leaves without anything on them, but Collette and Sylvia have wolfed down plain lettuce eagerly.

Then again, in a world where people inexplicably seek out the taste of raw celery or pizzas with pineapple, maybe this is less bizarre than I think.

Watchcats on break II

Another scenario to envision: Imagine Watchcat Collette running through the living room, as she did last Thursday, with a grocery bag around her neck.  I removed the bag as soon as I caught up to her.  Conveniently, that was just after she'd delivered the supplies she was carrying.  I have to admire any watchcat who helps people in the style of a St. Bernard.

Watchcats on break

Due to technical difficulties, I'm unable to post a Watchcat protocol photo today.  Imagine, if you will, though, a photo of Watchcat Rosie looking commanding, Watchcat Sammy looking even-tempered, Watchcat Nemo maintaining a poker face, Watchcat Sylvia looking heartwarming, Watchcat Collette  looking simultaneously menacing and playful, or Watchcat Lily looking in charge yet guarded.

That'll have to do for now.  Then again, there are 2,632 previous Watchcat protocol posts to enjoy, as well as other cat photos I've posted.  That should be sufficient to tide everyone over until the glitch is fixed.

Watchcat protocol MMDCXXXII

Watchcat Nemo and his auxiliary eyes pondered whether to take the feathered toy bait in July 2012:

Watchcat protocol MMDCXXXI

In case an authorized visitor to her assigned sector needed a grocery bag, Watchcat Sylvia was ready to provide one in May 2015:

I commended her for being so considerate.

Watchcat protocol MMDCXXX

Watchcat Collette was prepared to stare down anyone on July 6, 2023 who wasn't supposed to be in her assigned sector:

Watchcat protocol MMDCXXIX

Watchcat Sammy could have been reading the comics section of the newspaper.  Instead, he focused on his assigned sector and waited to read the comics until after his shift:

That's how dedicated he was to his job in July 2009.

Watchcat protocol MMDCXXVIII

It doesn't happen often, but sometimes, a watchcat has to subdue a chair:

Mission accomplished for Watchcat Rosie, then, in November 2008.

Watchcat protocol MMDCXXVII

Watchcat Collette sat ready on July 30, 2025 to vaporize unauthorized visitors with the Intruder Zapper, a powerful laser that, um, well...Actually, it's a flashlight, so Collette can illuminate scofflaws, at least:

Watchcat protocol MMDCXXVI

Watchcat Nemo's expression on July 4, 2016 showed everyone that the banana belonged to him:

Watchcat protocol MMDCXXV

Anyone seeking an audience with Watchcat Lily's human in May 2020 had to go through her first:

Watchcat protocol MMDCXXIV

Watchcat Sylvia had a dilemma in May 2010.  She had an optional agility training session.  Attending it, however, meant getting out of her comfy cat bed to spar with the Kitty Swat toy nearby:

I'm sure that whatever decision she made was the right one for her.

Watchcat protocol MMDCXXIII

In May 2004, Watchcat Headquarters assigned Watchcat Sammy to monitor his assigned sector and Watchcat Rosie to monitor Watchcat Sammy:

I didn't understand the reasoning behind Rosie's assignment, but Watchcat Headquarters assured me it was a sensible arrangement.

Watchcat protocol MMDCXXII

I have the utmost gratitude for a watchcat who says, "Wait, wait, wait!  Are the foodstuffs in your refrigerator safe for consumption?  Let me inspect them:"

That was Watchcat Collette, looking out for me on April 5, 2026.

Watchcat protocol MMDCXXI

Watchcat Sylvia and her backup watchmouse had first dibs on the umbrella in June 2010:

That was reasonable, as Watchcat Headquarters could have asked them to patrol the outside of their assigned sector.

Watchcat protocol MMDCXX

During Proxy Nemo's nap break in December 2014, Watchcat Nemo and Blue Cat made sure their assigned sector stayed undisturbed:

 

Watchcat protocol MMDCXIX

Was Watchcat Lily's guardian using an acceptable food-dispensing spoon?

Yes.  Watchcat Lily deemed it worthy on April 19, 2026.

Watchcat protocol MMDCXVIII

In January 2011, Watchcat Rosie's expression conveyed, "Don't worry, visitor.  I'm going to investigate that noise I just heard, and I guarantee that no intruders will harm you:"

Watchcat protocol MMDCXVII

Watchcat Sammy didn't let a laser pointer dot distract him from guarding his assigned sector in June 2009:

Watchcat protocol MMDCXVI

Impressively, Watchcat Lily resisted the allure of nearby cat food on April 19, 2026 to focus on her assigned sector:

Watchcat protocol MMDCXV

After seeing how quickly Watchcat Collette captured a toy mouse on April 5, 2026, Watchcat Headquarters knew that she was agile enough for guard duty: 

Watchcat protocol MMDCXIV

After seeing how quickly Watchcat Sylvia captured a cat toy in December 2008, Watchcat Headquarters knew that she was agile enough for guard duty:

Watchcat protocol MMDCXIII

Visitors to Watchcat Nemo's assigned sector in June 2017 understood that the boundaries for permissible behavior were wherever he drew them:

Watchcat protocol MMDCXII

Although it isn't required to acknowledge how seriously a watchcat takes guard duty, it's common decency to thank a watchcat who guards her assigned sector this vigilantly: 

Watchcat Rosie elicited thanks for enforcing the boundaries Watchcat Headquarters required in April 2006.

Watchcat protocol MMDCXI

Sammy was proud of being a learned watchcat.  He admired that quality in others, as well.  Thus, he encouraged visitors to peruse the library he'd curated for his assigned sector in May 2010:

 

Watchcat protocol MMDCX

I know this look.  It's the expression of a watchcat who is ready for anything that comes her way during guard duty:

That was the impression Watchcat Lily made on March 23, 2026.

Watchcat protocol MMDCIX

Watchcat Collette was clearly vigilant during guard duty on March 26, 2026:

Watchcat protocol MMDCVIII

When a watchcat is required to complete agility training on Christmas Eve, he should be able to study the jacket tie he's expected to grab.  Otherwise, why commit fully to the session?  That was Watchcat Nemo's thinking on December 24, 2008:

Watchcat protocol MMDCVII

Watchcat Sylvia thought she could probably trust a visitor on May 13, 2015.  As a precaution, however, she stayed slightly wary:

Watchcat protocol MMDCVI

Everything was tranquil in Watchcat Rosie's assigned sector.  That didn't stop her from keeping an eye on it, though, in April 2011:

Watchcat protocol MMDCV

Never underestimate the authority of a watchcat and his backup watchmouse--especially when they have an arsenal of soft cat toy weapons:

Watchcat Headquarters advised all visitors to give Watchcat Sammy and his backup watchmouse their due in April 2015.

Watchcat protocol MMDCIV

Watchcat Lily had all the time in the world on March 23, 2026 to study everyone in her assigned sector:

Watchcat protocol MMDCIII

Intruders didn't stand a chance in July 2017 against the triple threat security team of Watchcat Nemo, Proxy Nemo, and Blue Cat:

Watchcat protocol MMDCII

Watchcat Sylvia determined that the dragonfly in her assigned sector wasn't an enemy combatant:

It posed no threat, so she treated it as a cat toy in October 2013.

Watchcat protocol MMDCI

This was no time for frivolity.  Watchcat Sammy had an assigned sector to guard, which he did to the best of his ability in October 2010:

Watchcat protocol MMDC

Watchcat Rosie's hackles were up in March 2006, so it was wise not to question her authority:

Watchcat protocol MMDXCIX

Watchcat Collette and the Easter Bunny guarded their assigned sector on March 29, 2026:

In the spirit of the holiday, authorized visitors received a choice of jelly beans or a mini chocolate rabbit.

Watchcat protocol MMDXCVIII

If you ask politely, a watchcat might clean your fingers:

Watchcat Lily provided this considerate service on March 23, 2026.

Watchcat protocol MMDXCVII

Watchcat Nemo was primed to pounce on scofflaws in January 2017:

Watchcat protocol MMDXCVI

Watchcat Sammy monitored the view from the window in February 2004.  Meanwhile, Watchcat Rosie scoured the basement for unauthorized visitors:

Her stern glare kept hooligans at bay.

Watchcat protocol MMDXCV

Watchcat Sylvia made sure I was safe in her assigned sector by staring at me in May 2009:

I thanked her for her effective vigilance.

Watchcat protocol MMDXCIV

Watchcat Collette bristled this morning at the notion of anyone taking issue with her guard duty prowess:

First, she showed visitors her got-this-all-under-control pose: 

For those who were still unconvinced, she struck a more menacing countenance:

No one questioned her after that.

Watchcat protocol MMDXCIII

Watchcat Sylvia was polite about it, but she made sure in June 2013 that only authorized participants and spectators were admitted to the racetrack:

Watchcat protocol MMDXCII

Watchcat Nemo was ready to thwart intruders with a kick toy and the Tiger Tail Of Justice in June 2010:

 

Watchcat protocol MMDXCI

In October 2006, Watchcat Rosie was ready to pounce on any malcontents:

Fortunately for her, no one questioned her authority.

Watchcat protocol MMDXC

Watchcat Sammy was about to try on shoes in June 2007 before spotting more pressing matters in his assigned sector:

Watchcat protocol MMDLXXXIX

Before looking out the window this afternoon, Watchcat Collette made sure I knew what a weighty responsibility it is for a watchcat to survey indoor and outdoor assigned sectors during the same shift:

Noted--and appreciated.

Watchcat protocol MMDLXXXVIII

Watchcat Lily had a lot on her mind but didn't let it stop her from monitoring her assigned sector on March 23, 2026:

Watchcat protocol MMDLXXXVII

Visitors were double-teamed on March 23, 2026.  They had to answer not only to Watchcat Collette but to her backup watchmouse:

When conditions demand it, a double layer of security is essential.