Watchcat protocol CDLIV

Although intruders aren't likely to make off with a kitchen faucet, it never hurts to station a watchcat there:

2015: Watchcat Sylvia guards the kitchen sink.

Watchcat protocol CDLIII

Sometimes, Watchcat Headquarters will post a watchcat in a dark, tight space. It might be necessary for the watchcat to bend her ears and keep her eyes wide open, as a result.  Watchcat Lily made the best of her situation earlier this month:

Watchcat protocol CDLII

Your books are safe when they're under a watchcat's trusty surveillance:

June 2006: Watchcat Sammy takes guarding precious tomes seriously.

Watchcat protocol CDLI

Sometimes, while on duty, a watchcat must have a weapon ready to throw at an intruder.  Hence,the toy ball Watchcat Sylvia kept on hand in 2009:

Watchcat protocol CDL

If you ask, a watchcat will inspect in and around your decorative lamp:

July 2007: Watchcat Sammy on lamp guard duty.

Watchcat protocol CDXLIX

When watchcats narrow their eyes, you know they mean business:

September 2013: Watchcats Sammy and Rosie narrow their eyes while on guard duty.  Actually, they might just have been tired.

Watchcat protocol CDXLVIII

Eventually, proxy watchcats settle into their role and can work side by side with their mentors:

Spring 2016: While Blue Cat rests, Proxy Nemo and Nemo keep tabs on their assigned sector.

Watchcat protocol CDXLVII

Sometimes, to make sure a proxy watchcat is able to handle primary watchcat duties, Watchcat Headquarters will ask a proxy to be the lead watchcat for a day.  Such was the case one day in 2013.  Watchcat Nemo stood behind Proxy Nemo, though, in case he had questions:

Watchcat protocol CDXLVI

Watchcat Rosie demonstrated confidence and professionalism.  She didn't question why she'd been assigned to guard only one shoe instead of a pair in November 2006 and gave the assignment her all:

Watchcat protocol CDXLV

Want to make sure your food is cooking in the microwave properly?  Ask a watchcat to check:

January 21, 2020: Per Watchcat Collette, lunch was almost ready.

Watchcat protocol CDXLIV

Following up on yesterday's post, testing the durability of a racetrack might require a watchcat to examine it from different angles:

Spring 2012: Watchcat Sylvia inspects a racetrack from different perspectives.

Watchcat protocol CDXLIII

Need someone to test the durability of your racetrack?  Watchcat Headquarters has you covered; in fact, they'll even include an extra set of poltergeist cat eyes, for good measure:

September 2012: Watchcat Rosie and the eyes of Watchcat Sammy inspect a racetrack.

A linguistic irritant XCVII

It irked me in elementary school when a teacher would tell the class to "put on your thinking caps."  Even now, I think, "Why not just ask the class to ponder, brainstorm, or contemplate whatever you want them to consider?  Why does a metaphorical cap have to be involved?"

Watchcat protocol CDXLII

Generally, Watchcat Headquarters doesn't prohibit commercial endorsements on the job as long as a watchcat's work gets done.  Conveniently, Watchcat Collette's assignment yesterday was to guard the soda:

Watchcat protocol CDXLI

Although it wasn't required, it was considerate of Watchcat Rosie to give Watchcat Sammy's fur a touch-up before inspecting a darkened room in June 2013:

Watchcat protocol CDXL

It was a surprise, on a Spring day in 2010, to open a package and find Watchcat Sylvia:

Apparently, she was working undercover.  I'm still not sure what her assignment was.

Watchcat protocol CDXXXIX

What could the portable vacuum have done to make Watchcat Sylvia suspicious?  I'm not sure, but I trust her judgment:

Spring 2010: Watchcat Sylvia keeps a close eye on the DustBuster.

Watchcat protocol CDXXXVIII

A good watchcat knows when to go the extra mile.  Today, for instance, Watchcat Collette saw, "Assignment: Refrigerator," on the guard sheet.  Instead of just sitting in front of the refrigerator, she got in it and made sure the foodstuffs were safe to consume:

Watchcat Headquarters commended Collette for her initiative.

All part of growing up

While driving on snow-covered roads Friday, I got a little cross--but not as cross as usual, however.  Instead of saying, "What are these drivers doing on the road?  I have a good reason!  These people don't," I replaced, "These people don't," with "These people might not."

I guess mellowing comes with age.

Watchcat protocol CDXXXVII

Taking a lunch break?  For your safety, ask another watchcat to keep an eye on you:

October 2012: Watchcat Sammy looks after Watchcat Rosie while she eats.

Watchcat protocol CDXXXVI

When an intruder approaches, a watchcat might let out a maniacal scream:

December 2012: Watchcat Rosie knew that a crazed look and commanding meow would scare intruders away.

A linguistic irritant XCVI

It used to amuse me when an overly officious teacher or principal would refer to "this business of being late to class" or "this business of running in the halls."

I used to think, "Running in the halls is now a company?  Is it called Mad Dash, Incorporated?  Does it exist to shuttle people to class, even when it means running over daydreamers at their lockers?"

Sound discipline?

My cat, Collette, was acting a bit bonkers earlier today, getting into cabinets and knocking over a trash can repeatedly.  Naturally, this called for a stern response, so I petted her and told her what a good cat she was.

I hated to resort to such draconian measures, but as one of my neighbors said, "Sometimes, draconian measures are the only ones that work."

A linguistic irritant XCV

When anyone states a view beginning with, "I'm of the opinion that..," I think, "Why the long windup before throwing the baseball?  Why not just say, 'I think...,' or 'I believe...?'"

Truth in advertising? XXXVII

Any store that claims to have everything risks irritating remarks from smart alecks.  Sometimes, when I heard the Central Hardware jingle, "We've got it all, from scoop to nuts...," I'd think, "I'll bet some know-it-all has probably gone into one of their stores, determined to be overly literal about the jingle's promise, and said, 'What if I want a bolt that's 37 percent rusted?  You don't have that, do you?'"

That's the same type of person who would likely order a pizza with everything and then complain that there are no transistor radio parts or sawdust as toppings.

Watchcat protocol CDXXXV

It's reassuring to know that you have a watchcat who's scrappy and confrontational when appropriate:

December 2019: Watchcat Collette strikes a "Put up your dukes" countenance.

Watchcat protocol CDXXXIV

A covered cat house is an effective and comfortable guard post for a watchcat.  Conveniently, no zoning permit is required:

December 2019: Watchcat Lily monitors her assigned sector from her house.

Watchcat protocol CDXXXIII

Not every intruder a watchcat monitors is right in front of him.  Sometimes, the intruder is a flying bug that the watchcat must swat out of the air.  Watchcat Sammy was on alert for such bugs in January 2006:

Watchcat protocol CDXXXII

Sometimes, a watchcat must let intruders know who's in charge:

October 2012: Watchcat Rosie roars to let everyone in her assigned sector know that she's not intimidated.

Watchcat protocol CDXXXI

An intruder had better think twice before confronting a double-teamed security force:

Spring 2012: Watchcat Nemo and Proxy Nemo present a force with which to be reckoned.

Watchcat protocol CDXXX

Guarding recently read newspapers and a phone book isn't a task for just anyone.  Such elevated security needs warrant a watchcat:

2010: Clearly, this wasn't a time for frivolity.  After all, Watchcat Sylvia was guarding out-of-date items on the kitchen table.