Baby steps

My cat, Collette, has gone two days without biting me on the leg in an attempt to get me to play or as an expression of ire for not feeding her 27 times a day.

It might not sound like much of an accomplishment, but at this point, I'll take what I can get.

Then again, the day isn't over yet.

Watchcat protocol CDLXXV

A watchcat has to be able to detect intruders and, when necessary, say, "Stop right there!"  Watchcat Collette demonstrated this quality earlier this month:

Watchcat protocol CDLXXIV

It's possible to be on guard yet relaxed:

February 26, 2020: Watchcat Lily stays alert and comfortable from her guard post on the bed.

Watchcat protocol CDLXXIII

Prevent unauthorized drum solos.  Station a watchcat by your drum:

February 26, 2020: Watchat Lily makes sure no one gets near the drum.

Watchcat protocol CDLXXII

Per Watchcat Headquarters, watchcats may contemplate life's big questions while on duty--as long as it doesn't prevent them from detaining intruders:

Fall 2008: Watchcat Sylvia ponders why we're all here.

Watchcat protocol CDLXXI

If you're a watchcat in a dispute with another watchcat, try to resolve your differences quickly.  You don't want intruders to slip by unnoticed while you're arguing:

September 2013: Watchcats Sammy and Rosie have a disagreement.  Fortunately, their dispute was short-lived, and they were both able to use the sofa as their guard post.

A linguistic irritant C

If you'd like to pause a discussion and come back to it later, why not just say that?  Why is it necessary to say, "Let's put a pin in this?"  Why is that imagery needed?  Pins are for voodoo dolls, not discussions.  Why not just say, "Let's pause this discussion for now," or "Let's revisit this later?"

Watchcat protocol CDLXX

Understandably, your watchcat will want to give you a daily security update.  Sometimes, she'll want to do this while walking across a room:

February 20, 2020: Watchcat Collette tells me that, thanks to her vigilance, there have been no security threats so far on Thursday.

A linguistic irritant XCIX

If you've made a decision, please just tell me you've made a decision.  Don't tell me, "I searched the depths of my soul."  That's between God and you.  Just tell me what you've decided.

Watchcat protocol CDLXIX

If you ask Watchcat Headquarters, they'll provide at-your-feet watchcat service:

February 20, 2020: Watchcat Collette provides considerate at-my-feet watchcat guarding.

Watchcat protocol CDLXVIII

Every so often, it's advisable for watchcats to have strategy sessions with their proxy watchcats.  It's important to make sure they're on the same page:

2013: Proxy Nemo and Watchcat Nemo confer during a meeting.

Watchcat protocol CDLXVII

As cats become elder watchcats, Watchcat Headquarters assigns them to guard their own property more frequently.  This is done in appreciation of their years of service.  In October 2016, Watchcat Sammy spent much of the day guarding his brush and toys:

Watchcat protocol CDLXVI

In Summer 2014, Watchcat Nemo allowed Proxy Nemo and the sea lion to take the lead in guarding their assigned sector.  He was ready as a backup, however:

Watchcat protocol CDLXV

Watchcat Sylvia preferred not to use the dragonfly toy as a weapon but was prepared to do so if necessary:

Spring 2016: Watchcat Sylvia sports a sad look, conveying, "I'd rather not have to attack anyone with the dragonfly, but if it's absolutely necessary..."

A generous feline philanthropist II

In light of my cat Collette's apparent funding of "PBS NewsHour," of which I wrote yesterday, I'm inclined to overlook that she just bit my foot. 

I know how generous she is, based on that underwriting mention on TV, so I won't hold it against her if she needs to blow off steam by occasionally biting my feet...

...At least, that's what I'm telling myself.

A generous feline philanthropist

While watching "PBS NewsHour" recently with my cat, Collette, I was startled and pleased to see that major funding for PBS NewsHour is apparently provided by my cat.

Actually, it's a company named Collette that's one of the program's backers, but for a moment, I chose to believe that my cat has altruistic tendencies.

I still want to believe that and be proud of her for supporting such a worthy, intelligent program.

Watchcat protocol CDLXIV

Sometimes, being a watchcat means needing to have your claws ready to use as weapons, just in case:

Fall 2009: Serious Watchcat Sylvia may be comfy in her cat bed, but her claws are ready to strike.

A function of age II

Around age 40, I noticed a shift in the way younger people in their 20s viewed me as a night supervisor.  No one ever said it to me, but I sensed there were times when younger people were on the verge of saying, "Hi, old person," or "How are you, old person who is old?"  For all I know, they might have thought, "Drew sure is grouchy today.  He must be in chronic pain.  I've heard that's common among old people."

I can't know that for sure, but I have a hunch.

Watchcat protocol CDLXIII

Sometimes, a watchcat needs to let the proxy watchcat take command.  On one Spring 2016 day, Watchcat Nemo sat back on the lounge while Proxy Nemo had lead guard duty:

Watchcat protocol CDLXII

Although a watchcat might be stationed in a comfy cat bed, it doesn't mean he won't spring into action when suspicious activity happens:

Summer 2012: Watchcat Sammy, ready to pounce from the cat bed, if needed.

Watchcat protocol CDLXI

When you're a watchcat, it's necessary to maintain an intense, vigilant demeanor.  Watchcat Collette exhibited this intensity last month:

A linguistic irritant XCVIII

I've always hated it whenever anyone says a task will be "like taking candy from a baby."  It indicates that something unjust is about to happen to an unsuspecting person.  Besides, taking candy from a baby is simply mean.

Watchcat protocol CDLX

When you have two backup watchbirds gathering information for you, it's important to hear them out.  Watchcat Sylvia did this in 2015:

Watchcat protocol CDLIX

When you're a watchcat on the lookout for eerie activity, you will sometimes express wide-eyed incredulity:

Summer 2012: Wide-eyed Watchcat Nemo hears something odd.

A function of age

While looking for nonperishable food recently in case of a power outage, I came upon a can of Pringles potato chips.  It wasn't just any can of Pringles, however; this was the lightly salted variety.

"Reduced sodium!  Score!," I thought.

Upon leaving the store, I thought, "That's a reaction I wouldn't have had 25 years ago."

Watchcat protocol CDLVIII

Inevitably, watchcat patrol includes long stretches of inactivity.  That doesn't stop watchcats, however, from monitoring their assigned sector:

May 2006: Watchcats Sammy and Rosie keep an eye on a room in which nothing much is happening.

Watchcat protocol CDLVII

There's a confident look some watchcats give to people they guard--a look that says, "I've got your back."  Watchcat Sammy gave off this look in 2008:

On second thought, he might have been thinking, "I'd rather not be photographed right now, but I'll tolerate it."

Watchcat protocol CDLVI

Want to make sure no one makes off with your folder of coupons?  Ask a watchcat to guard it:

Spring 2009: Watchcat Nemo keeps tabs on the coupon folder.

Watchcat protocol CDLV

Intruders should think twice when confronted with a triple threat of watchcats:

Summer 2017: Watchcats Blue Cat, Proxy Nemo, and Nemo zero in on a suspicious interloper.