Watchcat protocol DCCXXII

Sometimes, a watchcat will need to reassure another watchcat with the promise, "There, there.  This new year will be a good year--because I'm commanding it to be good."  Watchcat Rosie attempted to convince Watchcat Sammy of this in January 2004:

Watchcat protocol DCCXXI

Consider it an honor if Watchcat Headquarters assigns watchcats to use you as a guard post.  It means you've passed their thorough vetting and are trustworthy:

December 2007: Watchcats Rosie and Sammy take turns using me as a guard post.

Watchcat protocol DCCXX

It's possible to be relaxed while maintaining vigilance on guard duty:

December 24, 2010: Watchcat Nemo stays calm--and alert.

Watchcat protocol DCCXIX

It's always best to confirm with your proxy watchcat that you're on the same page about security tactics:

2017: Proxy Nemo and Watchcat Nemo synchronize their security plans.

Watchcat protocol DCCXVIII

Sometimes, a watchcat will need to deliver an urgent bulletin to you.  To underscore the gravity of the message, she might start climbing you:

December 25, 2020: Watchcat Collette conveyed an urgent message from Watchcat Headquarters to me.

Watchcat protocol DCCXVII

When Watchcat Headquarters pairs your watchcat with a new watchmouse, expect your watchcat to lay down the law but gently.  She'll let the backup watchmouse know what's what but also do her best to build up the watchmouse's confidence:

December 25, 2020: Watchcat Collette keeps a firm paw on her backup watchmouse.

Watchcat protocol DCCXVI

Who is going to choose the next Christmas CD we listen to?  If I know what's good for me, it'll be Watchcat Collette:

December 24, 2020: Watchcat Collette narrows her eyes at the prospect of anyone but her choosing what Christmas music to listen to next.

Watchcat protocol DCCXV

Be a sport on Christmas Eve and help with watchguard duties when necessary.  After all, when stockings are hung by the watchcats with care, the watchcats deserve time to rest and dream their Christmas dreams:

December 24, 2011: Watchcats Rosie and Sammy stay close to their Christmas stockings while napping.

Watchcat protocol DCCXIV

It's only right to check on your friends on Christmas--even the new ones, as Watchcat Sylvia did with Proxy Sylvia on Christmas 2016:

No surprise this year

And now, the lights on the living room Christmas tree have gone out.  How 2020 of them...

...I can't begrudge them, though.  They've given me faithful service since 2010.  That's a lot of comforting, tree-lit nights.

The not entirely refined Collette

I spoke too soon.  My cat, Collette, has returned to her boisterous, biting self.  Although my toes won't thank me, I suppose I can't in good conscience wish for Collette to be anyone other than who she is.

Watchcat protocol DCCXIII

Christmas Day is usually peaceful.  Nevertheless, it can't hurt to have a watchcat keeping tabs on things:

December 25, 2010: Watchcat Rosie makes sure there's no trouble in her assigned sector.

The new, refined Collette

My cat, Collette, has been especially considerate today.  Her kneading has been gentler and subtler than usual, and she hasn't attempted to bite my feet even once.  

Does she have the Christmas spirit, or is my little cat all grown up?

I'm thankful, in either case.

Watchcat protocol DCCXII

No one dared walk off with the groceries in December 2014--not with Watchcat Sylvia and the extra sets of eyes watching:

Watchcat protocol DCCXI

There's nothing wrong with praying for divine guidance when you're a watchcat--while also having a Tiger Tail weapon at hand:

December 2010: Watchcat Sylvia holds onto a Tiger Tail while pausing for reflection.

Watchcat protocol DCCX

If you're surveying an assigned sector with another watchcat, it's best to make sure you're on the same page about security tactics:

December 2007: Watchcats Rosie and Sammy confer on security matters.

Nothing like a jab in the throat

I've written previously about the shots I receive in my vocal cords to treat dysphonia.  After I'd received a shot at my most recent appointment, I told the doctor, "See you again later this month for my second Christmas throat-stabbing..."

"...said The Grinch," the doctor responded.

I haven't decided yet if I'll repeat what I told the doctor during my last shot of the year in 2019.

"Thank you for another year of successful throat stabbings," I said.

"Ordinarily, that's not something anyone should say to anyone else," he replied.

I don't think I'll say that again this year.  It would be appreciative--but also repetitive.

A linguistic irritant CXIV

My first task after finishing work each day is to feed my cat, Collette.  That's my modus operandi.

If Collette feels like I'm not giving her my undivided attention, she'll bite my feet.  That's her modus operandi.

When I eat a meal, Collette jumps on the table and attempts to eat some of my food.  I move the food away from her and put her back down on the floor.  That's our shared modus operandi.

On second thought, these are just our ways of doing things.  There's no need for Latin.

Watchcat protocol DCCIX

It's thoughtful to reward watchcats on Christmas Day for their diligent service.  The present usually doesn't have to be too elaborate; a shoelace is often sufficient for exciting a watchcat:

December 25, 2005: Watchcat Rosie anticipates a Christmas shoelace coming her way.

Watchcat protocol DCCVIII

In December 2010, nothing came between Watchcat Sylvia and the Christmas trees:

Watchcat protocol DCCVII

Unless Watchcat Headquarters has approved a backup security plan, two watchcats who are on duty in the same location can't take their nap breaks at the same time.  On December 24, 2010, Watchcat Rosie made sure no one would walk off with a grocery bag while her brother, Watchcat Sammy, napped:

Watchcat protocol DCCVI

In this scene from 2013, Watchcat Sylvia appears to be thinking, "Yes, it's a pretty Christmas tree, but my watchcat duties require me to stay serious about guarding it."  She was dedicated to her job that way:

Watchcat protocol DCCV

Sometimes, it isn't necessary for a watchcat to confront an intruder.  Just giving the unauthorized visitor the side-eye is sufficient.  This was Watchcat Rosie's judgment in March 2006:

Watchcat protocol DCCIV

Watchcat Sylvia's expression in December 2009 implied, "Do you think watchcats slack off during the holidays?  Absolutely not.  We take your security seriously."  I believed her:

Watchcat protocol DCCIII

It's challenging to carry out one's watchcat duties when the watchcat paparazzi are taking photos.  When a watchcat shields her face, a watchhuman might need to step in temporarily and provide security.  Such was the case with Watchcat Collette on December 2, 2020:

Watchcat protocol DCCII (In memory of Rusty the cat)

Sometimes, both watchcats on duty will be scheduled for nap breaks at the same time.  When this happens, be ready to step in as a watchhuman until their breaks end:

2000: Watchcats Rusty and Simon take a Watchcat Headquarters-authorized rest.

Watchcat Rusty passed away 20 years ago today.  During his 17 years of exemplary service, he performed his watchcat duties without complaint.  Typically, he displayed an easy-going nature and was never at a loss for words.  His signature "Meh!" meant many different things, depending on its tone.  If you asked, and even if you didn't, he would lick your toes and hands; often, he'd attempt to bite the knuckles out of a person's hands, apparently likening them to lumps in his fur.  He also had an ear for music, producing sung meows during rests when I played the bass.

Many family watchcats have served admirably since his time with us, but Watchcat Rusty set the template, starting in 1983.  His friendly, outgoing personality served him well as a watchcat and a housecat, and I thank him for setting such a positive tone.

Watchcat protocol DCCI

A watchcat must notice suspicious happenings.  I don't know what caught Watchcat Collette's attention on December 3, 2020, but she checked it out shortly after this photo was taken: 

Watchcat protocol DCC

Need someone to make sure that your local recycling center will accept everything you're about to recycle?  Ask a watchcat to check for you:

December 3, 2020: Watchcat Collette makes sure everything in a bag is fit for recycling.  After all, sneaking in some prohibited #6 plastic containers would just be scandalous.

Watchcat protocol DCXCIX

In the year that Collette has been my watchcat pet, she has demonstrated how adept she is at multitasking.  Not just any watchcat would keep tabs on a Kitty Swat toy and a shoe simultaneously, but Watchcat Collette managed it adroitly on October 10, 2020:

Watchcat protocol DCXCVIII

Watchcat Headquarters doesn't always station watchcats in the most visible places.  In Summer 2008, one of Watchcat Sylvia's guard posts was a grocery bag.  She conveyed the attitude, "Didn't expect to find me here, did you?  Well, I'm ready for you."  She was commendably fearless that way:

Watchcat protocol DCXCVII

Watchcat duties sometimes require a spy shack:

December 2009: Watchcat Rosie surveys her assigned sector from her Watchcat Headquarters-provided encasement.