Finishing the sentence XXIV

Another one of my unfinished sentences from the '90s and its responses:

Although it's of little conversational use, the typical foreign language instruction manual usually includes a translation for a "much-spoken" phrase or sentence such as...

..."Where is the library?" (Liz F.)

..."I'm pregnant." (Laura W.)

..."My surname is..." "My family name is..." (Colin S.)

..."I'm picking out a thermos for you." (Amy S.)

"How do you like this tale that offers no hope?"

After reading a story I'd written, one of my high school English teachers told me, "That's good.  You want to be careful not to be too cynical, though."

I decided against telling her that ship had already sailed.  Looking back, it's interesting to me that at age 15, I was already perceived as overly cynical.

"Bags with handles? You've been holding out on us!"

"I don't know what happened," the grocery store clerk said to me during a recent visit.  "We were sent these paper bags that don't even have (the store's name) on them.  The handles are being removed from the bags so customers don't get used to them.  When I heard that, I thought, 'Seriously?'"

That was my reaction, as well.  Unfortunately, knowing how petty some customers are, whoever decided to remove the handles probably made a wise decision.

Finishing the sentence XXIII

Tonight, let's go back to 1993 for an unfinished sentence that's atypical of the ones I wrote and the offbeat answers it elicited:

Alarmingly, the chimes will strike midnight, and then...

...Larry will be free, once again, to roam the streets of London, killing small children and pillaging the merry whorehouses of Piccadilly Circus. (Jason P.)

...the good fairies get replaced by the little monsters who drive us to do those things that are completely unacceptable in the light of day. (Tava S.)

...the donkey will have tea with the fly on the green fruity pebble. (Becky B.)

...Orson Welles will appear as Falstaff and bore us to death. (Anthony T.)

Primersplaining--in a good way

Years ago, at Borders Books & Music, I told a clerk that a book I was buying was "a strong primer on music." I pronounced primer with a long i.

"Primer," the clerk said.  "That's one of those unusual words.  It's interesting how it's pronounced with a long i in the context of painting but with a short i when it refers to a book."

After I paid for my purchases and drove off, I thought, "That was the right way to correct someone--explaining the difference between the word's two pronunciations politely.  That's much better than saying, 'Arrrrrgggghhhh!  Primer is pronounced with a short i in this case!  Geez!  Doesn't anyone know anything anymore?!"

Finishing the sentence XXII

An unfinished sentence I wrote and its responses from October 1988:

There is no greater simple pleasure than...

...creating something and seeing your creation do wonderfully. (Sam B.)

...sitting in the woods, surrounded by trees and wildlife, unaffected by the expansion of civilization. (John H.)

...playing with a kitten. (Betsy B.)

...watching someone you love do something they love. (Stephanie F.)

...helping someone--it doesn't matter who--who has a problem and feeling satisfied because they resolve their conflict. (Fran H.)

Flighty? In your own world a lot?

At least, you (probably) have never done this:

My college philosophy instructor told us he once drove from college in Kansas to his home state of Nebraska.  He had a terrible time opening the car door.  Finally, after jiggling and bending the key in every direction, he got the door open.  While driving, he thought, "That's odd.  I wonder why the radio's digital display is green.  It used to be blue."  Later, he noticed a pair of sunglasses on the passenger seat and thought, "That's strange.  Who would have left sunglasses in my car?"

When he finally got to his destination and opened the door, it dawned on him.  He had inadvertently driven a car that wasn't his from one state to another.  The car was the same make and model as his, but the obvious clues that it wasn't his didn't sink in until he'd reached Nebraska.

The next time I feel irritated about misplacing or forgetting something, I plan to remember this.