Truth in advertising? XI

Alas, after walking around in the front yard and back yard yesterday morning, I was unable to see the super blue blood moon that I was supposed to be able to see between 6:15 and 6:30.  It's always disappointing to miss such a rare occurrence.  I suppose that's life, though; for the most part, it's just a series of missed opportunities that leave us feeling glum.

Wait.  Let me switch beverages.

There.  That's better.  I'd been drinking Compromised Dreams Cola.  I had to settle for it when the grocery store ran out of Bereft Of Hope Cola, which features a bitter black coffee base, suitable for melancholy times.  Now, however, I just opened a can of Balanced Perspective Cola, and my thoughts have brightened.  I still got to see footage of the super blue blood moon online, and I still feel fortunate to have seen the solar eclipse last August, with its temporary burst of nightfall.

It's amazing what a difference the right beverage makes.

I was inspired to write this after reading a rather melodramatic review of the four new Diet Coke flavors.  To my taste buds, they're all quite good and don't taste overtly like diet soda.

A linguistic irritant XXXIV

Although I don't hear it often these days, I always get irritated when I hear anyone tell another person, "Make it snappy."  To me, that's a way of telling someone you're mouthy and impatient.  Several potential responses run through my mind.  The one that's closest to being civil is, "Make it courteous.  How about that?"

Finishing the sentence CXVIII

I asked students I knew from my high school to respond to this unfinished sentence of mine in April 1989.  Three years later, I asked college students I knew to respond to it, as well.  Here were the results in April 1992:

Per Robert Frost, "nothing gold can stay."  The most unfortunate example of this is...

...a reputation. (Karen B.)

...the here and now, as well as youth and perfect skin. (Brian W.)

...political promises. (i.e. "'No new taxes,' his larynx spewed, yet his lips read, 'Just a few.'") (Jeff B.)

...satisfaction with the way my life is going; happiness with myself, a truly gold thing because it's so scarce. (Jenni S.)

Sometimes, if you perfect your stare...

...and keep pawing at the door you want to open, it will open for you:

That was the case with Sammy in May 2003.

Only in college IX

Ah, college--a time when you expand your mind by starting on a paper five hours before it's due and power walk to class while pulling the sources you used out of your backpack and writing the bibliography by hand, even though you've typed the rest of the paper. 

This method earned me an A- on a psychology paper.  In the back of my mind, I kept wondering, "I've written a really good paper on advertising techniques, despite getting such a late start.  If I'd started weeks ahead of time, would it be in The Smithsonian?"

A linguistic irritant XXXIII

Is there a more pretentious or condescending phrase than "persons of your ilk?"  Even if there is, just hearing anyone use that phrase even once is excessive.

A linguistic irritant XXXII

If you're writing a math textbook, consider your audience.  Many students taking algebra don't need or want it to sound more daunting than it already does.  I remember the first day of an algebra class in which the textbook's instructions read, "Give the simplest name of the value of each expression."  I would have given simpler instructions, such as "Solve."  The teacher agreed and told the class, "This book can make everything sound like the most terrible task ever.  Why don't they just say, 'Give the answer?'"