Watchcat protocol LI

As long as you aren't an intruder and aren't preventing them from doing their work, it's permissible to pet watchcats:

Spring 2010: Sammy being petted while on watchcat duty.

Watchcat protocol L

For a time, the watchcats experimented with using a tube bed as a patrol station:

In case the watchcat in the tube bed wasn't able to emerge quickly enough to ward off intruders, a backup watchcat would be on patrol nearby.  On this Spring 2010 day, Rosie was assigned to the tube bed, and Sammy was on backup patrol.

Watchcat protocol XLIX

Sometimes, when it's necessary, a watchcat is stationed in a not-so-obvious place:

Summer 2006: Watchcat Rosie surveys her assigned sector under a cabinet.

A linguistic irritant LXII

"It is of the utmost importance..."

No.  That's clearing one's throat excessively.  If a task needs to be completed by a certain date or time, just say, "This must be done by (the deadline.)"

A linguistic irritant LXI

I'm put off whenever I hear anyone tell another person, "Now, see here!"  To me, it's a pretentious way of saying, "What I say goes, so abandon free will, and do what I want you to do."

Watchcat protocol XLVIII

Sometimes, being a watchcat involves fixing appliances that malfunction in your sector:

August 2003: Watchcats Rosie and Sammy inspect a microwave.

Watchrabbit protocol

Occasionally, there will be times when all of the watchcats are on breaks.  In those instances, a watchrabbit will monitor the assigned property:

July 2003: A watchrabbit fills in for the watchcats.

Watchcat protocol XLVII

A watchcat might take a break from his duties to have some food and water.  It won't be a complete break, however, as he'll still be watching you:

December 2003: Stray Cat looks up from his food bowl.

Watchcat protocol XLVI

In 2010, the word came down from Watchcat Headquarters: While on duty with another watchcat, only one watchcat was allowed to have poltergeist eyes.  At least one watchcat must be clear-eyed while on duty:

October 2010: Sammy stays clear-eyed while Rosie develops poltergeist eyes.

Watchcat protocol XLV

Sometimes, it's necessary for a watchcat to convey a "None shall pass" attitude:

This lets potential intruders know that the watchcat means business, as Rosie did in January 2004.

If there was any doubt...

...these were Rosie's shoes:

April 2012: Rosie with her shoes.

Watchcat protocol XLIV

Even outdoors, watchcats have assigned posts.  In this November 2003 photo, Stray Cat keeps an eye on the backyard from his assigned station near a tree:

Hearing cases from a comfy chair

A judge doesn't always have to hear cases behind an imposing bench:

May 2008: Judge Nemo hears cases from his comfy chair.

An admittedly silly question

Do you ever ask your pet, "Was that you meowing (or barking, or cawing?)"

What response do we expect when we ask that?

I know my cat, Sylvia, will likely respond, in English, "Why, yes, that was me; I haven't had a drink of water from the kitchen faucet in some time." If I already know that, though, why would I ask her that?

Watchcat protocol XLIII

As a watchcat, you never know when you might have to chase after an intruder.  It's good to have a pair of track shoes on hand for such occasions:

2005: Watchcats Rosie and Sammy with their emergency track shoes.

Watchcat protocol XLII

Sometimes, an intruder or well-meaning guardian might attempt to play with a watchcat.  These attempts might include throwing a catnip mouse in the watchcat's vicinity, waving a cat toy over the watchcat's head, or tempting the watchcat with apron strings.  A good watchcat must not get distracted, however, especially when her fellow watchcat is taking a break to nap:

November 2010: Watchcat Sammy naps while Watchcat Rosie resists playing with apron strings and keeps watch over her surroundings.

Matter-of-fact expectations

A middle school memory: One of my sixth grade teachers told the class, "Tomorrow, I will not be here, so you'll have a substitute.  I do expect that you will not act like idiots."

As I recall, we all behaved ourselves the next day.  After all, when teachers say such things without rancor, their restraint should be rewarded.

Making your case in Judge Rosie's courtroom

If I were an attorney arguing my case before Judge Rosie, I'd make sure I was prepared.  When a judge hears cases with this expression, you know you'd better have your facts and arguments together:

September 2012: Judge Rosie, looking stern while hearing cases.

An effective hypnotist cat

Sylvia is an effective hypnotist.  That's not a sentence you'd expect to read about a cat, but she has the "Look into my eyes" aspect of hypnotism down:

2016: Sylvia, looking hypnotic.

Knew this would happen...

...I've reached the point in life where my photos of cats outnumber photos of people by a ratio of at least 80 to 1.  When seeing photos I've taken of people, I often think, "Pictures of people?  How did these get in here?"

This isn't a complaint, however.

As a new school year begins...

...I wonder if most students think the way I did.  I used to think, "I probably won't be given any assignment that's too taxing on the first day, but it very well might happen on the second day."

Staying hydrated with faucet water

You know your cat's penchant for drinking water from the kitchen sink has become deeply ingrained when you inadvertently ask her, "Water--I mean, Sylvia, would you like more food?"

Spring 2018: Sylvia, filling up with kitchen sink water.

Watchcat protocol XLI

Blending in with wooden cats is the strategy of choice for some watchcats:

Summer 2011: Sylvia and the wooden cats.

Watchcat protocol XL

It might seem unprofessional, but looking slightly manic or unhinged lets intruders know that a watchcat is ready for anything:

October 2010: Watchcat Sammy's crazy eyes alert intruders that they shouldn't cross him.

Watchcat protocol XXXIX

Sometimes, a watchcat's location shouldn't be too obvious.  Thus, you might not see a watchcat monitoring things from under a chair:

2004: Watchcat Sammy keeps an eye on things from under a chair.

Watchcat protocol XXXVIII

Forget what I said yesterday.  If a watchcat can still get the job done while looking happy, that's fine, too:

2011: Nemo enjoys a moment of mirth during his watchcat stint.

Watchcat protocol XXXVII

Professional watchcats need to show that they mean business:

April 2008: Sammy and Rosie on watchcat duty, looking menacing.

A linguistic irritant LX

Instead of the stodgy, not-so-concise feedback, "This meets with my approval," why not say, "I approve," or "Well done?"

A linguistic irritant LIX

It irks me when I read about people "selling their wares."  Why use an archaic word such as wares when you can refer to products as products, or in limited instances, as creations?

Watchcat protocol XXXVI

Sometimes, watchcats split up their duties within the same room.  To paraphrase "Loch Lomond," it's a "You take the high part, and I'll take the low part" of the room arrangement:

2013: Sammy is watching the lower sector of his assigned room, and Rosie is keeping tabs on the upper sector.

Watchcat protocol XXXV

Provided that there's no bad blood between them, it's permissible for a watchcat to have a watchbird backup:

2013: Sylvia keeps watch over one sector of the living room while Fredbird keeps watch over his assigned sector.