Watchcat protocol CLXXXVII

It's permissible for a trusted guardian to brush a watchcat, while understanding that the watchcat's priority on duty is to watch for intruders:

2011: Watchcat Nemo stays alert while being brushed.

Watchcat protocol CLXXXVI

It's common courtesy not to recycle your newspapers until your watchcat has read them.  Watchcat Sylvia made this clear to me in 2011:

Feeling older--in a positive day

While sitting in the waiting room during a car appointment today, I realized I was the youngest person reading a magazine.  While others stared into space or at their phones, I learned interesting tidbits, courtesy of a Smithsonian magazine, about musician Rhiannon Giddens, former Supreme Court justice Sandra Day O'Connor, and the array of vibrantly colored fish one can see in Lake Malawi.  Meanwhile, an older woman sat reading a book, and an older man worked a newspaper crossword puzzle.

I have an a la carte relationship with technology.  I just embrace the parts of it that work best for me.  I was pleased to see other customers doing the same.

Watchcat protocol CLXXXV

I don't remember if Sammy chased after the suspicious intruder he spotted in May 2006.  He might have asked his sister, Rosie, over the watchcat walkie-talkie to pursue the interloper.  Either way, he was alert enough, at least, to spot the intruder.  That's where a watchcat's duties begin:

Watchcat protocol CLXXXIV

Thinking about making off with a statue from the museum?  Don't.  The watchcat won't permit it:

September 2004: Watchcat Rosie guards statues.

Watchcat protocol CLXXXIII

Being a watchcat doesn't have to resemble working in a salt mine.  You can have your comfy chair and pillow, provided you keep an eye on your assigned sector:

August 2004: Watchcat Rosie relaxes, but only to an extent, during her patrol stint.

Watchcat protocol CLXXXII

When climbing stairs, it's important for a watchcat to look back every so often for intruders:

March 2006: Watchcat Rosie makes sure no unauthorized person or animal is ascending the stairs.

Watchcat protocol CLXXXI

You never know when a moose might swim by on "Sunrise Earth" and convey subliminal messages to viewers.  A trained watchcat can spot this nefarious habit for you:

April 2008: Watchcat Sammy keeps a close eye on a moose he finds suspicious.

Watchcat protocol CLXXX

Per Watchcat Headquarters, watchcats are entitled to lunch breaks:

2015: Watchcat Sylvia eats salad during her lunch break.  Proxy Sylvia watched the property during Sylvia's down time.

Watchcat protocol CLXXIX

Before taking a nap, it's advisable to ask a watchcat to make sure sleeping conditions are safe and that the surrounding area is secure:

March 2017: Watchcat Nemo makes sure the area around a pillow is fit for sleeping.

Watchcat protocol CLXXVIII

Although a watchcat might strike a relaxed pose on a comfy pile of clothes, her eyes can still tell you that she's still watching for intruders:

April 2009: Watchcat Sylvia is comfortable--and alert.

Watchcat protocol CLXXVII

It's smart for a watchcat to convey a ready-for-anything attitude:

April 2009: Watchcat Nemo shows that he means business.

Watchcat protocol CLXXVI

While it's permissible to pet or brush watchcats on duty, they might not react blissfully.  It's important to show Watchcat Headquarters that their minds are still on their jobs, after all:

June 2007: Watchcat Sammy maintains a serious demeanor while on duty.

Watchcat protocol CLXXV

Just because you're in a different room from the watchcat's post doesn't mean the watchcat isn't monitoring you:

May 2003: Watchcat Rosie surveys another room through the window.

Offbeat Caption Day at the ballpark

One night about 20 years ago, I was asked to write some captions for baseball game photos.  For most of the pictures, I matched the jersey numbers up with the players' names from rosters and wrote  straightforward captions.  Unexpectedly, however, there was a picture of three fans in the stands wearing clown makeup and hats.  I had no idea why they'd attended the game in clown garb, so beneath the photo, I typed, "A smart photographer asks no questions."

I'd still like to think no one else in the office would have done that.

Only in college XII

It's a cliche of college life that, at the beginning of it, an administrator will tell an incoming freshman class, "Look to your left.  Now, look to your right.  One of you won't be here next year."

I asked another pre-journalism student, "What type of journalism do you want to pursue?"

"Beats the @#&* out of me," he said, while opening a newspaper to read during class.

Sure enough, the following year, he wasn't there.

Watchcat protocol CLXXIV

It isn't easy being a watchcat, especially when you have to monitor the indoors and outdoors:

January 2004: Stray Cat looks up from his water bowl while monitoring the inside and outside of his claimed--I almost wrote, "assigned," mistakenly--property.

A linguistic irritant LXXV

It sounds bizarre to me to hear Americans say they're gobsmacked by anything.  Saying you're surprised or astonished should suffice.  Besides, "Gobsmacked" sounds like one of Willy Wonka's candy creations.

Watchcat protocol CLXXIII

It's reassuring to know your watchcat is making rounds...

...and is ready to guard the property during her shift:

Spring 2011: Watchcat Sylvia, alert during her patrol.

Watchcat protocol CLXXII

Thought you'd escape scrutiny while walking past a watchcat?  Well, think again:

March 2006: Watchcat Rosie keeps a close eye on those who walk by.

Watchcat protocol CLXXI

Need someone to guard your wardrobe?  Ask a watchcat:

2009: Watchcat Sylvia guards clothes.

Watchcat protocol CLXX

Two things are reassuring about this watchcat.  Her eyes are wide open, indicating that she's alert.  Also, you know she has the authority to be a watchcat, as she's sitting in the watchcat director's chair:

April 2003: Watchcat Rosie monitors the laundry room from the director's chair.

Watchcat protocol CLXIX

When hearing a strange sound, it's customary for watchcats to turn and acknowledge it before springing into action:

March 2004: Watchcats Rosie and Sammy hear a noise.

Watchcat protocol CLXVIII

Toys surround a watchcat.  Fun beckons.  While on duty, however, a watchcat must convey a serious demeanor, letting visitors know that he's not distracted and that their safety is his foremost concern:

April 2012: Watchcat Sammy maintains a serious countenance while on duty.

Watchcat protocol CLXVII

When you're about to nod off after your watchcat shift, and your proxy watchcat is about to take over, you'll want to make sure your proxy is alert and ready to go:

Fall 2018: Proxy Sylvia assures Watchcat Sylvia that she's ready to monitor her assigned sector.

Watchcat protocol CLXVI

When a watchcat has to cough, sneeze, or yawn, it's important for another watchcat to pick up the slack and keep an eye on things:

Spring 2013: Watchcat Sammy monitors the living room while Watchcat Rosie yawns.

Watchcat protocol CLXV

Per Watchcat Headquarters, Rosie conveys the attitude, "None shall pass:"

February 2006: Watchcat Rosie takes her guard duties seriously.

Watchcat protocol CLXIV

This watchcat's wry expression assures me that her assigned sector is in good paws:

2004: Watchcat Rosie stays alert at her guard post.