Watchcat protocol DCCXLVII

Watchcat guard duty requires the proper motivational soundtrack.  Watchcat Sammy picked out a CD as he began his shift in January 2004:

Watchcat protocol DCCXLVI

Thought you'd slip past the watchcat into an unauthorized sector, didn't you?  Well, think again.  It's ill-advised to cross a watchcat with an arsenal of weapons.  You can't see them, but they're there--or so Watchcat Headquarters has led me to believe:

March 2011: Watchcat Sylvia patrols the kitchen with her backpack full of weapons.  At least, that's what Watchcat Headquarters told me.  Actually, I'm pretty sure they were just cat toys.

Watchcat protocol DCCXLV

I admired Watchcat Sylvia's dedication to her job in January 2016.  She could have curled up on the comforter and gone to sleep.  Instead, she stood vigilant and scanned her assigned sector for prowlers:

Watchcat protocol DCCXLIV

Did you think you'd read a magazine or newspaper without the watchcat's authorization?  Think again:

December 2006: Watchcat Sammy kept watch over the magazines and newspapers in his assigned sector.

Watchcat protocol DCCXLIII

Constant guarding sometimes makes watchcats feel a tad glum--but no less attentive:

March 2004: Watchcats Rosie and Sammy don't let their malaise stop them from guarding their assigned sector.

Watchcat protocol DCCXLII

Not even his watchcat sister's unexpected licks on his back deterred Watchcat Sammy from looking an intruder straight in the eyes in April 2012:

Watchcat protocol DCCXLI

Thinking of committing an infraction right in front of the watchcats--or off to the side of them?  Forget it.  There's no escaping the long paws of justice.  At least, that was the case when Watchcats Rosie and Sammy were on duty in May 2005:

"Do you recommend ice with this?"

I'm trying to remember the last time I was in Walgreens for more than three minutes and didn't hear, "Customer service needed in the liquor department," over the intercom...

...1988, maybe?

Actually, I'm sure it's much more recent than that.  I hear that announcement during nearly every visit there, though, regardless of the time of day.  I've never bought liquor.  The appeal of it eludes me.  I'd expect customers in a specialty wine store to ask about the inventory, but it surprises me that so many customers apparently do that at Walgreens.

Watchcat protocol DCCXL

When two watchcats have a visitor, they'll sometimes use the near/far security strategy.  One watchcat will monitor the visitor up close, while the other watchcat monitors the rest of the assigned sector.  In May 2006, Watchcat Rosie sat near a visitor, while Watchcat Sammy sat farther away:

Resigned to having my feet bitten

It's wise to live by the expression, "Don't the bite the hand that feeds you."  I wish, however, that I could impart similar wisdom to my cat, Collette.  It just isn't as concise, though, to say, "Don't bite the feet that walk over to the cabinet where your cat food is kept..."

...and I doubt Collette would comply anyway.

Watchcat protocol DCCXXXIX

In February 2006, no unauthorized visitor was allowed to use a tissue without Watchcat Rosie's approval:

Finally able to exhale

It's such a relief when good triumphs over evil.  Despite the overwhelming challenges of quashing a pandemic, cleaning up the environment, and restoring the civility that was lost over the last four years, it's so reassuring to know that America is now in the hands of a regime that cares what happens to all of us.

Huge thank yous to everyone who voted for President Biden and Vice President Harris and all those who have worked and will work tirelessly to get this country back on the right track.

Watchcat protocol DCCXXXVIII

It was puzzling in September 2008 that Watchcat Headquarters assigned Watchcats Sammy and Rosie to monitor animal movements on "Sunrise Earth."  The shows had already been filmed, after all, and the outcomes were already determined.  The whole assignment seemed outside of a watchcat's purview.  As devoted watchcats, however, Sammy and Rosie didn't question the wisdom of Watchcat Headquarters:

Watchcat protocol DCCXXXVII

Watchcats are allowed to take breaks.  They're not supposed to eat your salad, however:

December 25, 2020: On second thought, maybe I should have just let Watchcat Collette eat my salad.  Generosity is part of the Christmas spirit, after all.

Watchcat protocol DCCXXXVI

Even after Christmas, Watchcat Headquarters still requires its watchcats to complete candy cane agility training.  Watchcat Lily's reflexes were in top shape for this on January 14, 2021:

A linguistic compliment

Considering how many complaints I've made about irksome words, I should also acknowledge when a word is linguistically satisfying.  

For some reason, I like it when people say that others have "frittered away their time."  Unproductive time notwithstanding, it's a pleasure to hear people say that others are wasting time--when they say it politely.

Watchcat protocol DCCXXXV

It's important that everyone on your security team is on the same page.  Yesterday, Watchcat Lily called a meeting of her team.  The keyboard allowed her to punctuate her points in song when necessary:

Watchcat protocol DCCXXXIV

I know that look.  It's the seen-it-all look of a watchcat who, despite being only three years old, knows the ins and outs of security tactics like the back of her paws.  Today, she wouldn't let anyone get near the laundry--not even me...even though it's my laundry:

January 14, 2021: Nothing comes between Watchcat Collette and my--her?--laundry.

Watchcat protocol DCCXXXIII

Watchcat Rosie focused resolutely on her assigned sector in October 2003:

A linguistic irritant CXV

I wish I could remember the source, but a few days ago, I watched an interview with a professor.  She took issue with journalists who wrote about last week's mob attack on the U.S. Capitol.  She said that referring to the rioters as "storming the Capitol" romanticizes the attack.  As she pointed out, there was nothing noble about what those rioters did.

I can't argue with that.

Watchcat protocol DCCXXXII

You know you're in good paws when your watchcat can focus on his assigned sector, think deep thoughts, and maintain a serious expression simultaneously:

January 2006: Watchcat Sammy has everything under control.

Watchcat protocol DCCXXXI

She didn't even have to taste the water.  Just from being within close proximity of it in Spring 2016, Watchcat Sylvia could tell that the water needed to be filtered.  That's a talented watchcat:

Watchcat protocol DCCXXX

Sometimes, a watchcat will give you a look that says, "Don't mind me.  I'm just casting a sidelong glance at my assigned sector."  Such was the case with Watchcat Rosie in Winter 2007:

Watchcat protocol DCCXXIX

Most intruders aren't built that low to the ground, but in April 2007, Watchcat Sammy spotted one that was:

Watchcat protocol DCCXXVIII

I don't know what caught Watchcat Sammy's attention in May 2007, but his laser-like focus on it was impressive:

Watchcat protocol DCCXXVII

Did you perform your watchcat duties superbly?  Did you prevent an unauthorized visitor from gaining access to your assigned sector?  Then, why not lick your chops and savor the victory, as Watchcat Nemo did in Spring 2011?

Watchcat protocol DCCXXVI

It isn't easy to guard your assigned sector when the world is turning into a dizzying blur, but Watchcat Nemo stayed focused and showed superb professionalism in 2010:

Watchcat protocol DCCXXV

I think the implied attitude here is, "We're your security team.  Nothing gets past us.  Nothing."  Watchcats Rosie and Sammy conveyed the proper level of confidence in December 2008:

Watchcat protocol DCCXXIV

In January 2012, Watchcat Sylvia was puzzled but not distracted by Watchcat Headquarters asking her to guard her assigned sector from the middle of a racetrack.  After all, the job remained the same:

A function of age V

I was pleased to find light raspberry yogurt at a store today.  In past years, when I didn't see it at a store, I just thought, "Oh, well.  They're out of it," or "Oh, well.  They just don't carry it anymore."  Today, however, I thought, "Good.  Finally--a store that cares about its customers."

That's a lot of weight to put on one specific variety of yogurt.

Watchcat protocol DCCXXIII

The zeal and rejuvenation that often go with the start of a new year affect watchcats as well as people.  Expect your watchcats to provide their customary wide-eyed attentiveness on guard duty--perhaps with a little extra zing:

Wide-eyed Rosie surveys her assigned sector in January 2004.