Watchcat protocol DCCLXXI

Occasionally, Watchcat Headquarters asks watchcats to double as plumbers.  In 2015, Watchcat Sylvia unclogged a kitchen sink:

Watchcat protocol DCCLXX

To keep watchcats' reflexes sharp, Watchcat Headquarters sometimes asks watchcats to study videos of fast-moving animals and respond when the animals make sudden moves:

July 2013: Watchcat Sylvia views assigned video footage of a squirrel.

Watchcat protocol DCCLXIX

It's advisable not to protest when the watchcat won't let you near the groceries:

It's very advisable, actually:

October 2015: There was no trifling with Watchcat Nemo during grocery guard duty.

Watchcat protocol DCCLXVIII

It's advisable for a watchhuman to be on standby when a watchcat decides to pray or meditate:

February 20, 2021: Watchcat Collette says the Serenity Prayer to herself.  It's commendable that her version of it includes a line about resisting the temptation to bite everyone's feet.

Watchcat protocol DCCLXVII

Watchcat Headquarters expects its watchcats to make sure that their assigned sectors are adequately staffed.  On February 22, 2021, Watchcat Lily confirmed that Proxy Nemo, the watchmice, and she were a sufficient security force:

Watchcat protocol DCCLXVI

Sometimes, the best way for a watchcat to spot intruders is to blend in with surrounding sculptures:

February 22, 2021: Watchcat Lily pretends she's a statue.

Watchcat protocol DCCLXV

Watchcat Rosie struck a heroic pose during guard duty in March 2003.  "My brother needs to rest, but I will remain awake and steadfast in my watchcat duty," she appears to be thinking:

Resigned to having my feet bitten II

Today, my cat, Collette, adopted a new time release technique for biting my feet.  She'd zero in intently on my feet for nearly five minutes before finally pouncing on them and biting them.

I was torn between scolding her or congratulating her for having such patience.

Watchcat protocol DCCLXIV

I know that wide-eyed look.  It's the look of a watchcat who has spotted something suspicious and is about to call in reinforcements.  At least, that's the impression I got from Watchcat Sammy in April 2003:

Watchcat protocol DCCLXIII

Having one of her eyes transition into poltergeist mode didn't stop Watchcat Lily from spotting a suspicious visitor in October 2020.  Her wry expression suggests, "No unauthorized visitor makes it past me."  Then again, maybe she just saw a bug:

Watchcat protocol DCCLXII

One perk of providing exemplary watchcat service is the free broom brushing on one's break time:

April 2012: Watchcat Sammy enjoys a pleasant broom brushing.

Watchcat protocol DCCLXI

It's always gratifying for watchcats when they come up with a foolproof security guard tactic.  I don't know the specifics of the plan Watchcats Rosie and Sammy hatched in December 2003, but their sly expressions suggest it was clever:

Watchcat protocol DCCLX

I don't know what Watchcats Sammy and Rosie saw in the window, but whoever it was might have been unnerved to see two watchcats studying his or her every move:

May 2004: Watchcats Sammy and Rosie presented a double threat to any intruder who happened into their assigned sector.

Watchcat protocol DCCLIX

I'm still not sure what was wrong with the garment bag in February 2006, but I trust that Watchcat Rosie resolved the issue by talking to it sternly:

Watchcat protocol DCCLVIII

In April 2006, visitors knew not to make any sudden turns in the kitchen.  After all, two alert watchcats, Rosie and Sammy, were primed to pounce on any unexpected movements:

A linguistic irritant CXVII

Generally, I'm not a fan of referring to one's stomach as one's tummy.  It just sounds too silly.  One exception to this, however: I'll admit that a chant we used with family cat Sammy wouldn't have sounded as endearing if we'd said, "Stom, stom, stomach rub."  In that case, "Tum, tum, tummy rub," was more appropriate.

I can also think of one other exception.

Watchcat protocol DCCLVII

A racetrack is an unusual choice for a watchcat's chin rest, but there's no regulation against it:

April 2012: Watchcat Sammy rests his chin.

Watchcat protocol DCCLVI

Watchcats are entitled to periodic breaks from guard duty.  During their breaks, watchcats might unwind by visiting an art gallery.  Here's Watchcat Sammy studying a print in April 2004:

Watchcat protocol DCCLV

Sometimes, a watchcat's withering stare is enough to nix an intruder's diabolical plans:

November 2013: Watchcat Rosie sees you--and knows your intentions.

Watchcat protocol DCCLIV

There's no harm in cleaning one's fur as a watchcat, provided at least one eye is kept on one's assigned sector:

July 2014: Watchcat Sylvia gives her fur a brief touch-up while monitoring her assigned sector.

Watchcat protocol DCCLIII

No one was likely to crawl under the table.  Still, in case anyone did, Watchcat Sammy was ready to admonish them:

April 2006: Watchcat Sammy, during an uneventful day of guard duty.

Watchcat protocol DCCLII

It's reassuring when a watchcat conveys, "I'm an old hand at this security game.  I've seen it all before."  Watchcat Nemo gave off this vibe to his backup watchmouse in March 2017:

Watchcat protocol DCCLI

Not every offense that a watchcat witnesses warrants a harsh rebuke.  For petty infractions, a watchcat might just stick his tongue out at the offender...

...or let the offender off with a bemused smile, as Watchcat Nemo did in Spring 2015:

Watchcat protocol DCCL

Even when a trusted source approaches a watchcat with a brush, the watchcat must be on guard:

As soon as the watchcat determines that the brush isn't being used as a weapon, brushing may commence:

February 2016: Watchcat Sammy approves of his brushing after a thorough inspection of the brush.

A linguistic irritant CXVI

It irks me slightly whenever anyone describes another's profession as "schoolteacher."

As if there's a need to clarify where teaching takes place...

A moment of linguistic clarity

Recently, my cat, Collette, attempted to grab my soup and eat it.  I kept pulling the soup away from her, but she persisted.  

"You are one determined--," I said and paused for at least three seconds.  

 Did I complete this sentence with "cat," "kitty," or "feline?"

No.  Instead, I said, "--malcontent."

I would say that was my subconscious mind talking, but...

Watchcat protocol DCCXLIX

There's nothing wrong with one watchcat admiring another watchcat's agility training prowess.  Watchcat Sammy approves of Watchcat Rosie's quick reflexes in September 2013:

Watchcat protocol DCCXLVIII

Watchcat Sammy looked alert in this scene from 2007, but was he really alert?  Watchcat Rosie kept an eye on him to make sure: