"Help wanted. Barking dogs encouraged to apply."

When I was in college, someone on my dorm floor applied for a job at a power plant.  In addition to the application, he had to complete a psychological assessment.  He told a group of us that the questions weren't surprising until he was asked, "Have you ever barked like a dog?"  He told us he answered, "Yes," figuring, "Who didn't imitate the sound a dog makes when they were a kid?" 

I still wonder about the power plant's underlying motive for asking that.

Finishing the sentence LXXXVI

From December 1992: An unfinished sentence I wrote and some responses it received:

One humorous but disturbing example of overcommercialization is...

...my cousin dressing up as the lead singer from Menudo, taken from the Saturday morning cartoon.  She's three. (Karen B.)

...the way they bring out the rabid hamsters around Halloween now instead of after Thanksgiving. (Eric S.)

...the fact that as the late night move progresses, the ratio of Ginsu knife commercials to the actual movie time increases exponentially. (Matthew F.)

Finishing the sentence LXXXV

An unfinished sentence I wrote and some of its responses from Spring 1993:

Lucky for me that...

...laughter isn't fattening. (Becky B.)

...my security deposit check didn't bounce like a Spalding ball. (Jenni S.)

...I can fly when nobody is looking. (Jennie K.)

Finishing the sentence LXXXIV

I still like the range of answers this unfinished sentence of mine received in April 1993:

You can have it all.  Thanks to Ronco, inexpensive gizmo entrepreneurs, you can achieve your full potential with the help of the new...

...attitude adjuster.  With this, you can cure all of those anal retentive thoughts that society somehow instilled in you. (Julie A.)

...mirror image product.  How you see yourself in the mirror is how others with perceive you.  So, put on your best smile and get the exact angle you want others to see and--go for the narcissism! (Tava S.)

...political ideology, prefabricated for the easy digestion of American short attention span constitutions. (Bob D.)

...Chymomatic!  Ever order a steak and get shoe leather?  Does Mom make you eat liver?  And those veggies...Well, fret no more!  The Chymomatic eats, tastes, and digests your food for you and still provides your body with all the necessary nutrients.  Call now and receive a three-week supply of enzyme cartridges!  End those years of suffering today!! (Greg K.)

...and improved Note From Your Mommy.  You can do anything you want and get away with it because everyone knows that people with responsibility will accept a note from Mom as an excuse for anything.  (The ad then concludes with many testimonials from middle-aged men and women.) (Tim C.)

Purposely vague dialogue department IV

Here's some ambiguous dialogue I wrote, along with interpretations it elicited in March 1993:

A: Hey!  Give me a hand with this...
B: Sure...Hold on a minute...This is going to turn out great!
A: Yeah, I'm sure it will, but could you help me out here?
B: I mean, who would've thought this would lead to anything?
A: I know; it's great.  Now, could you please get out here and help?
B: Think about it.  This could be the start of the most brilliant enterprise...
A: It won't be if this gets screwed up; come on and pitch in!
B: Most people can only dream of something so big...
A: For the last time, quit dreaming and help us set this up!
B: I mean, I thought it would work--but not this well.
A: Damn it, we need your help--now!
B: It just goes to show you, a good idea can set you up for life!
A: Arrrrrrgh!!  Well, I hope you're satisfied; it's ruined now!

Questions: Who are A and B?  What is A trying to set up? What accomplishment is B so enthused about?  How does A's task become ruined by B's failure to help?

Responses:

...B is setting up a supremely and perfectly refreshingly Kool-Aid stand.  A is silly and jumps out the window, breaking the stand down. (Cyndi A.)

...A is fixing the car that B and he share.  (They're brothers or roommates.)  B is excited about his new business, when he can't get to because the car is ruined. (Laura W.)

...A and B are chefs.  A is trying to get a giant souffle into the oven, but unfortunately, B is terribly excited about having just entered the Publishers Clearing House sweepstakes.  Due to B's incessant banter, the souffle falls quickly before it can be returned to the oven. (Neil S.)

Finishing the sentence LXXXIII

An unfinished sentence I wrote in February 1992 and its responses:

Indecision is most costly when...

...it becomes a decision. (Christina K.)

...the decision you have to make will impact others more than you. (Erica C.)

...you just can't know. (Jonathan B.)

...you've only got a little money, something really cool is on sale, and you choose to eat and not buy. (Chip C.)

...not being able to decide which way to look first when crossing the street, which makes you forget the idea altogether and causes you to get hit by a bus. (Miranda G.)

...(A) two good shows are on TV, and your brain explodes deciding what to watch; (B) Drew gives you one of these things to fill out, and it's spur o' the moment, and you can't think, so you write something really cliched, knowing everyone is going to read it and laugh, and you have no Wite-Out. (Jenni S.)

Finishing the sentence LXXXII

Here's an unfinished sentence I wrote, along with responses it elicited in March 1992:

Although it's unlikely to make a comeback, it's still fun to wax nostalgic about...

...the Rubik's Cube.  (I was one for Halloween one year.) (Jenni S.)

...the perfect '50s family...cookie-baking ma, hardworking pa, (and) smiling children, although this was a facade. (Karen W.)

...the natural resources, cultures, and people the strong have decimated.  Hope. (Colin S.)