Friday, June 30, 2017
Luck and timing
Sometimes, your timing is perfect. The right opportunity presents itself, and a new set of memories begins. Sixteen years ago today, my parents adopted this wonderful brother-sister duo, Sammy and Rosie:
Everyone in our family has had the pleasure of looking after these cats since 2001. If you're searching for your own equivalents of Sammy and Rosie, may you have the same great luck my parents did.
Thursday, June 29, 2017
Finishing the sentence LXIII
Another one of my unfinished sentences, along with responses it received in Spring 1993:
The term "inexplicable" is best illustrated by...
...ME!!! (Amy H.)
...Einstein's theory of relativity (or my love life, or people who really like sauerkraut.) (Liz F.)
...one word: paper dog, doorknob wistful. (Michael M.)
...why people actually rioted in Florida when Barney The Dinosaur didn't show up for a guest appearance at some mall. So much for "I love you...You love me," I guess. Incidentally, why is Barney seen as cooler than Big Bird? (Jenni S.)
...the fact that Drew incessantly keeps this book circulating and still has yet to cease in his quest to achieve the most blatantly bizarre responses to some pretty kooky questions. That is inexplicable. (Jeff B.)
The term "inexplicable" is best illustrated by...
...ME!!! (Amy H.)
...Einstein's theory of relativity (or my love life, or people who really like sauerkraut.) (Liz F.)
...one word: paper dog, doorknob wistful. (Michael M.)
...why people actually rioted in Florida when Barney The Dinosaur didn't show up for a guest appearance at some mall. So much for "I love you...You love me," I guess. Incidentally, why is Barney seen as cooler than Big Bird? (Jenni S.)
...the fact that Drew incessantly keeps this book circulating and still has yet to cease in his quest to achieve the most blatantly bizarre responses to some pretty kooky questions. That is inexplicable. (Jeff B.)
Wednesday, June 28, 2017
Purposely vague dialogue department
In addition to the unfinished sentences I wrote, my creative writing notebook that I maintained during high school and college contained another occasional feature that I called Purposely Vague Dialogue Department. I would write deliberately vague dialogue subject to interpretation and ask respondents to write what they thought was going on in the scene. Here's one example from December 1991 and some responses it elicited:
A: Arrrrrgh!
B: What's wrong?
A: Those numbskulls did it again!
B: Did what?
A: That! (points to the other end of the room)
B: I don't see the problem.
A: How could you not see it?
B: Well, I see a few minor flaws, but there's nothing seriously wrong with it...
A: It's not even close!
B: We can still make do with it.
A: Look at how impractical it is!
B: It's still usable...
A: You're kidding...We can't get any use out of this!
B: Well, it really doesn't matter. It's just for our use. We won't be entertaining friends with it...
A: But we still paid for it...We're entitled to better quality than this!
B: Well, maybe...I still think it'll serve us well, though.
Questions: Who are A and B? What are they discussing? What is the source of A's anger? Why is B more passive about it than A?
Responses:
...A and B are husband and wife. They are discussing a new piece of furniture they recently had delivered. The husband is upset because he doesn't like the way it looks, but the wife is more rational and passive and sees no problem with the new piece of furniture. (Mike A.)
...A is premier filmmaker Martin Scorsese, and B is actor extraordinaire Robert De Niro. Marty is angry about some special effects blood packets which burst too early. Robbie is tired of shooting and is trying to salvage the scene so they won't have to do it over. Marty's worried about going over budget, but Bob's trying to convince him that they can make the scene work. (Jonathan L.)
...A and B are cartoon mice. They are discussing the new human family pet they had conspired to get. They are experts at manipulating cats to do as they wish and therefore had put in an order for one. However, to their disgruntled amazement, the new "helper" is a dog. A cannot see how this situation could possibly work with such an animal, but B is much more optimistic. (Kristin M.)
A: Arrrrrgh!
B: What's wrong?
A: Those numbskulls did it again!
B: Did what?
A: That! (points to the other end of the room)
B: I don't see the problem.
A: How could you not see it?
B: Well, I see a few minor flaws, but there's nothing seriously wrong with it...
A: It's not even close!
B: We can still make do with it.
A: Look at how impractical it is!
B: It's still usable...
A: You're kidding...We can't get any use out of this!
B: Well, it really doesn't matter. It's just for our use. We won't be entertaining friends with it...
A: But we still paid for it...We're entitled to better quality than this!
B: Well, maybe...I still think it'll serve us well, though.
Questions: Who are A and B? What are they discussing? What is the source of A's anger? Why is B more passive about it than A?
Responses:
...A and B are husband and wife. They are discussing a new piece of furniture they recently had delivered. The husband is upset because he doesn't like the way it looks, but the wife is more rational and passive and sees no problem with the new piece of furniture. (Mike A.)
...A is premier filmmaker Martin Scorsese, and B is actor extraordinaire Robert De Niro. Marty is angry about some special effects blood packets which burst too early. Robbie is tired of shooting and is trying to salvage the scene so they won't have to do it over. Marty's worried about going over budget, but Bob's trying to convince him that they can make the scene work. (Jonathan L.)
...A and B are cartoon mice. They are discussing the new human family pet they had conspired to get. They are experts at manipulating cats to do as they wish and therefore had put in an order for one. However, to their disgruntled amazement, the new "helper" is a dog. A cannot see how this situation could possibly work with such an animal, but B is much more optimistic. (Kristin M.)
Tuesday, June 27, 2017
Finishing the sentence LXII
This wasn't one of the more upbeat unfinished sentences I've written, but it elicited some interesting responses in September 1991:
The term "bureaucracy" conjures up vile images when...
...I realize how many people use it as a means of escaping personal responsibility. (Christina N.)
...I think of thousands of people with the pallor of oatmeal and taste of the same resisting any change to become any better than they absolutely must and throwing money that isn't theirs into a bottomless pit. (Colin S.)
...(envisioning) small men with worthless PhDs and blue suits with brown ties "misfiling" random tax returns in the circular file, all the while prancing around in a circle and singing "Alcatraz" with glee. (Miranda G.)
The term "bureaucracy" conjures up vile images when...
...I realize how many people use it as a means of escaping personal responsibility. (Christina N.)
...I think of thousands of people with the pallor of oatmeal and taste of the same resisting any change to become any better than they absolutely must and throwing money that isn't theirs into a bottomless pit. (Colin S.)
...(envisioning) small men with worthless PhDs and blue suits with brown ties "misfiling" random tax returns in the circular file, all the while prancing around in a circle and singing "Alcatraz" with glee. (Miranda G.)
Monday, June 26, 2017
Finishing the sentence LXI
Another one of my unfinished sentences and responses it received in April 1992:
It would seem to be a problem that's easily solved, but the steps for solving it are deceptively complex. This problem is...
...bringing up a grade in a class after bombing the first test. (Jonathan L.)
...moving out of the house. (Karen B.)
...(written with musical notes:) "Breaking up is hard to do..." (Jenni S.)
It would seem to be a problem that's easily solved, but the steps for solving it are deceptively complex. This problem is...
...bringing up a grade in a class after bombing the first test. (Jonathan L.)
...moving out of the house. (Karen B.)
...(written with musical notes:) "Breaking up is hard to do..." (Jenni S.)
Sunday, June 25, 2017
"Wanted: Principal. Duties include talking on the phone..."
My high school newspaper adviser made an accurate observation.
"Based on what you see in most high school yearbooks, you'd think that the principal never does anything except stay in his office and talk on the phone," Mr. H. said. "That's because most yearbook photographers tell the principal they need a photo for the yearbook, and all too often, the principal says, 'Take a picture of me talking on the phone in my office.'"
He's right--or at least, he was when I was in high school. He told his magazine journalism class that high school yearbook photographers should go beyond that. He suggested taking photos of the principal speaking at an assembly, talking with students in the hallway, or interacting with faculty members. He said, correctly, that a yearbook shouldn't just have one photo of the principal with a caption reading, "Principal Jones on the telephone."
"Based on what you see in most high school yearbooks, you'd think that the principal never does anything except stay in his office and talk on the phone," Mr. H. said. "That's because most yearbook photographers tell the principal they need a photo for the yearbook, and all too often, the principal says, 'Take a picture of me talking on the phone in my office.'"
He's right--or at least, he was when I was in high school. He told his magazine journalism class that high school yearbook photographers should go beyond that. He suggested taking photos of the principal speaking at an assembly, talking with students in the hallway, or interacting with faculty members. He said, correctly, that a yearbook shouldn't just have one photo of the principal with a caption reading, "Principal Jones on the telephone."
Saturday, June 24, 2017
Finishing the sentence LX
Another one of my unfinished sentences and responses it received in April 1992:
Predictability is most welcome (or unwelcome) when...
...(welcome when) you've never had cavities and never will. (Candice J.)
...(welcome when) you receive and envelope from a place you applied to. The envelope is thick; you have the job. (James M.)
...(only welcome to me when) it provides a little stability to the more enjoyable unpredictability. (Paul H.)
...unwelcome when you know what you have to do, but the unexpected keeps pushing you back; welcome when it's the unexpected that actually thrusts you forward. (Karen B.)
Predictability is most welcome (or unwelcome) when...
...(welcome when) you've never had cavities and never will. (Candice J.)
...(welcome when) you receive and envelope from a place you applied to. The envelope is thick; you have the job. (James M.)
...(only welcome to me when) it provides a little stability to the more enjoyable unpredictability. (Paul H.)
...unwelcome when you know what you have to do, but the unexpected keeps pushing you back; welcome when it's the unexpected that actually thrusts you forward. (Karen B.)
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)