...at your high school reunion what they do for a living, you'll eventually elicit at least one answer that makes no sense to you. A former classmate will say, for instance, "I install ganzoonzkabas on greeble freebles so they don't overcalibrate." You then have a choice. You can either ask for clarification of the jargon you've just heard, or you can respond, as I would, "So, do you enjoy that line of work?"
I suspect that most people would choose that second option. Otherwise, you might have to hear a long explanation on the supposedly vital role that properly calibrated greeble freebles play in society.
Sunday, April 30, 2017
Saturday, April 29, 2017
Knowing what sells
"How did you choose your cat?" a grocery store cashier once asked me.
"She read a heartrending monologue for her audition and did a great soft shoe routine," I joked. "That sealed the deal."
"I want to see the soft shoe," the cashier responded.
I didn't have the heart to tell her that my cat, Sylvia, doesn't do that routine anymore. After all, now that she has the gig...
"She read a heartrending monologue for her audition and did a great soft shoe routine," I joked. "That sealed the deal."
"I want to see the soft shoe," the cashier responded.
I didn't have the heart to tell her that my cat, Sylvia, doesn't do that routine anymore. After all, now that she has the gig...
Friday, April 28, 2017
Finishing the sentence XXXI
Back to the '90s once again for another one of my unfinished sentences and its responses:
In a cunning plot designed to show how fervent sports fans sometimes become mindless conformists in the name of team spirit, the home team's cheerleaders started chanting a bizarre yet perceptive cheer. Even though the fans were clueless about its meaning, they still joined in, shouting in unison...
..."We play like mayonnaise, we play like mayonnaise, YAY!" (Laura W.)
..."We're the best! Why? WE HAVE NO IDEA!!!! GO-GO-GO-GO, I-D-I-O-T-S! Weeeeeeee!" (Rachel N.)
..."They have it, we want it; take it, break them, ferns bloom in Spring!" (Colin S.)
In a cunning plot designed to show how fervent sports fans sometimes become mindless conformists in the name of team spirit, the home team's cheerleaders started chanting a bizarre yet perceptive cheer. Even though the fans were clueless about its meaning, they still joined in, shouting in unison...
..."We play like mayonnaise, we play like mayonnaise, YAY!" (Laura W.)
..."We're the best! Why? WE HAVE NO IDEA!!!! GO-GO-GO-GO, I-D-I-O-T-S! Weeeeeeee!" (Rachel N.)
..."They have it, we want it; take it, break them, ferns bloom in Spring!" (Colin S.)
Thursday, April 27, 2017
Finishing the sentence XXX
One of my unfinished sentences and its responses from March 1989:
According to Will Durant, "when we look at history in the large, we see it as a graph of rising and falling states--nations and cultures disappearing as on some gigantic film. But in that irregular movement of centuries and that chaos of men, certain great moments stand out as the peaks and essence of human history, certain advances which, once made, were never lost..." Among the greatest of these historical peaks is...
...the American Revolution! (It) proves that the strong middle (merchant) class can overthrow the stronger, more powerful upper class. This is the spark that started democracy, which has been here to the present! (Tom L.)
...the period of time during the revolution when Jefferson and others were at their peak and all kinds of radical ideas were floating around. (Dani S.)
...when women got the right to vote and the women's movement. (Shantel S.)
...although it isn't standing (at) a peak yet, the advancement of knowledge about alcoholism is becoming greater, and hopefully, soon, it will be one of those highest peaks. (Tracey R.)
...the moment when the first of the Little Rock Nine graduated. (Betsy B.)
...the day that automobiles with air brakes were released! (Chris E.)
...the invention of peanut butter. (Sue A.)
...the very first season of "Days Of Our Lives." (Sarah G.)
...when Willie McGee made an unbelievable over-the-shoulder catch at the wall in center to save the '82 World Series. (John O.)
...There are no peaks or valleys in history. There is the past to learn from, the future to look forward to, and the present to complain about. And I would not have it any other way. (Michael D.)
According to Will Durant, "when we look at history in the large, we see it as a graph of rising and falling states--nations and cultures disappearing as on some gigantic film. But in that irregular movement of centuries and that chaos of men, certain great moments stand out as the peaks and essence of human history, certain advances which, once made, were never lost..." Among the greatest of these historical peaks is...
...the American Revolution! (It) proves that the strong middle (merchant) class can overthrow the stronger, more powerful upper class. This is the spark that started democracy, which has been here to the present! (Tom L.)
...the period of time during the revolution when Jefferson and others were at their peak and all kinds of radical ideas were floating around. (Dani S.)
...when women got the right to vote and the women's movement. (Shantel S.)
...although it isn't standing (at) a peak yet, the advancement of knowledge about alcoholism is becoming greater, and hopefully, soon, it will be one of those highest peaks. (Tracey R.)
...the moment when the first of the Little Rock Nine graduated. (Betsy B.)
...the day that automobiles with air brakes were released! (Chris E.)
...the invention of peanut butter. (Sue A.)
...the very first season of "Days Of Our Lives." (Sarah G.)
...when Willie McGee made an unbelievable over-the-shoulder catch at the wall in center to save the '82 World Series. (John O.)
...There are no peaks or valleys in history. There is the past to learn from, the future to look forward to, and the present to complain about. And I would not have it any other way. (Michael D.)
Wednesday, April 26, 2017
Now, I understand.
Once upon a time, I didn't really understand why some people considered it awkward when two women showed up at an event wearing the same outfit. Although it's irksome when someone inadvertently steals your thunder, I didn't understand why it was so vexing otherwise.
Then, one night, I watched the news. On either side of the male anchor were his co-anchor and the sportscaster, both of whom wore similar flower-patterned dresses. It looked...odd. For a moment, I wondered if the Missouri Botanical Garden was sponsoring the newscast. At that moment, the irritation about being dressed the same as someone else suddenly made sense to me.
Then, one night, I watched the news. On either side of the male anchor were his co-anchor and the sportscaster, both of whom wore similar flower-patterned dresses. It looked...odd. For a moment, I wondered if the Missouri Botanical Garden was sponsoring the newscast. At that moment, the irritation about being dressed the same as someone else suddenly made sense to me.
Tuesday, April 25, 2017
Finishing the sentence XXIX
Here's an unfinished sentence I wrote that elicited a ton of answers. Here it is, along with its responses from February 1989:
The most melodic word in the English language is...
...dichotomy. (Chris E.)
...mellifluous. (John O.)
...melancholy. (Leigh M.)
...sarsaparilla. (Will S.)
...meticulous. (Katherine T.)
...duchess. (Ken D.)
...tubular. (Mark W.)
...superfluous. (Alan E.)
...passion. (Chris A.)
...facetious. (Mark R.)
...lullaby. (Brian R.)
...tedious. (Chantel M.)
...mediocre. (Andrika J.)
...dapper. (Rachel M.)
...lollipop. (Michelle A.)
...memory, lush, or malice. (Sarah G.)
...ecstasy. (Debbie B.)
...meretricious. (Scott B.)
...precious. (Peter H.)
...chocolate. (Don M.)
...luscious. (Jennifer J.)
...narcissistic. (Sabrina M.)
...trundle. (Betsy B.)
...eloquence, quintessential, or fugue. (John H.)
...plethora. (Mary D.)
...exquisite. (Amy R.)
...protozoa. (Bill M.)
...personality. (Laura E.)
...willowy. (Leigh L.)
...supple or squish. (Ben H.)
...lascivious. (Fran H.)
...derivative. (Jason M.)
...turtleneck. (Crisi F.)
...doubleheader. (Rob B.)
...tintinnabulation. (Amy B.)
...fandango. (David W.)
...extemporaneous. (Eunice L.)
...supersonic. (Gretchen S.)
The most melodic word in the English language is...
...dichotomy. (Chris E.)
...mellifluous. (John O.)
...melancholy. (Leigh M.)
...sarsaparilla. (Will S.)
...meticulous. (Katherine T.)
...duchess. (Ken D.)
...tubular. (Mark W.)
...superfluous. (Alan E.)
...passion. (Chris A.)
...facetious. (Mark R.)
...lullaby. (Brian R.)
...tedious. (Chantel M.)
...mediocre. (Andrika J.)
...dapper. (Rachel M.)
...lollipop. (Michelle A.)
...memory, lush, or malice. (Sarah G.)
...ecstasy. (Debbie B.)
...meretricious. (Scott B.)
...precious. (Peter H.)
...chocolate. (Don M.)
...luscious. (Jennifer J.)
...narcissistic. (Sabrina M.)
...trundle. (Betsy B.)
...eloquence, quintessential, or fugue. (John H.)
...plethora. (Mary D.)
...exquisite. (Amy R.)
...protozoa. (Bill M.)
...personality. (Laura E.)
...willowy. (Leigh L.)
...supple or squish. (Ben H.)
...lascivious. (Fran H.)
...derivative. (Jason M.)
...turtleneck. (Crisi F.)
...doubleheader. (Rob B.)
...tintinnabulation. (Amy B.)
...fandango. (David W.)
...extemporaneous. (Eunice L.)
...supersonic. (Gretchen S.)
Monday, April 24, 2017
Finishing the sentence XXVIII
Another one of my unfinished sentences and the responses it received in 1993:
I would be startled to see a blender that, in addition to such standard controls as "blend," "mix," and "liquify," has a control button labeled...
..."Aaarrgh..." (Jenni S.)
..."maim." (Cyndi A.)
..."chomp." (Gary T.)
..."appendectomize." (Theo H.)
..."Sean B." (Sean B.)
..."masticate," "discombobulate," "pound into itty-bitty pieces." (Liz F.)
..."Back Space," "Caps Lock," "Call your mom; she misses you," "Yes!" (Michael M.)
I would be startled to see a blender that, in addition to such standard controls as "blend," "mix," and "liquify," has a control button labeled...
..."Aaarrgh..." (Jenni S.)
..."maim." (Cyndi A.)
..."chomp." (Gary T.)
..."appendectomize." (Theo H.)
..."Sean B." (Sean B.)
..."masticate," "discombobulate," "pound into itty-bitty pieces." (Liz F.)
..."Back Space," "Caps Lock," "Call your mom; she misses you," "Yes!" (Michael M.)
Sunday, April 23, 2017
Another hard sell approach
I've only ever seen a public TV station staffer take a hard sell approach once. Years ago, a pledge drive host, in marked contrast to her ordinarily calm, cool demeanor, told viewers during a break, "The phones are not ringing, and frankly, I do not understand it! Call now, or we're not going to respect you in the morning!"
I still don't know if it was her idea or management's idea to take such a blunt approach. Interestingly, however, during the next pledge break, she was far more subtle and polite.
I still don't know if it was her idea or management's idea to take such a blunt approach. Interestingly, however, during the next pledge break, she was far more subtle and polite.
Saturday, April 22, 2017
Taking the hard sell approach
Decades ago, I saw a commercial for a charity. Usually, in such commercials, you see footage of struggling people or animals intended to tug at a viewer's heartstrings. This commercial, however, took a different approach. I've forgotten which disease the foundation wanted to eradicate. I recall, though, that a scientist's blunt directive at the end of the ad surprised me.
"We don't need your sympathy," he said. "We need your money."
I still wonder if that hard sell approach spurred more donations or hindered them.
"We don't need your sympathy," he said. "We need your money."
I still wonder if that hard sell approach spurred more donations or hindered them.
Friday, April 21, 2017
At the heart of any class project evaluation...
...are two questions. When I was in high school, an English literature instructor divided the students into groups of two and assigned each pair a literary topic to discuss in class. He told us that his evaluation sheet for each presentation would be very simple and consist of just two questions:
1. Did they understand the topic?
2. How effectively did they get their ideas across?
Those two questions are ones to keep in mind before and during any presentation, in or out of school.
For solo presentations, there's a more direct way of phrasing that first question. On a presentation checklist my world history teacher passed out to everyone, the first question read, "Do I know what I'm talking about?" Presentation preparation doesn't get more basic than that.
1. Did they understand the topic?
2. How effectively did they get their ideas across?
Those two questions are ones to keep in mind before and during any presentation, in or out of school.
For solo presentations, there's a more direct way of phrasing that first question. On a presentation checklist my world history teacher passed out to everyone, the first question read, "Do I know what I'm talking about?" Presentation preparation doesn't get more basic than that.
Thursday, April 20, 2017
Bowing to a cat's agenda
In my previous post, "Keeping one's cat hydrated," I mentioned my cat's penchant for drinking water from the kitchen faucet. Recently, while having my groceries scanned, the checker mentioned, "Nothing for your cat? I notice you've been neglecting her lately." I countered that I'd been catering to her whims, including letting her drink water frequently from the kitchen tap. I also said that all of my family's cats are treated well. "Thanks to my dad, my parents' cat, Sammy, is spoon-fed part of the time." The checker asked, "Is it a silver spoon?" I paused and responded, "Actually, yes. Interesting symbolism there, now that I think about it. It proves my point about cats being treated well, though."
You know you're a regular customer when a checker knows your family's cat buying and feeding habits.
You know you're a regular customer when a checker knows your family's cat buying and feeding habits.
Wednesday, April 19, 2017
Finishing the sentence XXVII
Here's an unfinished sentence I wrote and some responses it received in August 1992:
The term "blind faith" is best illustrated by...
...a panting, tail-wagging dog eagerly yet patiently watching with a tilted head, his master's hand--because a treat is soon to pop up, right? (Michelle T.)
...diving in a pool of orange Jell-O and not caring if the rain might have melted it. (Greg Y.)
...the apex of musical supergroups, which proves that a dash of power egos in any scenario may create brilliance for a short period of time but will eventually result in destructive properties. (Jeff B.)
The term "blind faith" is best illustrated by...
...a panting, tail-wagging dog eagerly yet patiently watching with a tilted head, his master's hand--because a treat is soon to pop up, right? (Michelle T.)
...diving in a pool of orange Jell-O and not caring if the rain might have melted it. (Greg Y.)
...the apex of musical supergroups, which proves that a dash of power egos in any scenario may create brilliance for a short period of time but will eventually result in destructive properties. (Jeff B.)
Tuesday, April 18, 2017
Finishing the sentence XXVI
During my senior year of college, my unfinished sentences elicited a lot of amusing answers. Among them:
One bizarre yet effective commercial slogan would read...
..."Volvo--They're boxy but good." (Cathy N.)
..."The Pro Bowl. Touch football with the NFL's finest." (Andy R.)
..."Free live baby to be given away at midnight." (Per Chris S., this was "an actual ad for Ron's Roller World's All-Night Skate. I have a flyer.") (Chris S.)
..."Catholicism...Why the Hell not?" (Jen H.)
..."You are so @$&*ing gorgeous. Eat a Snickers." (Michael M.)
One bizarre yet effective commercial slogan would read...
..."Volvo--They're boxy but good." (Cathy N.)
..."The Pro Bowl. Touch football with the NFL's finest." (Andy R.)
..."Free live baby to be given away at midnight." (Per Chris S., this was "an actual ad for Ron's Roller World's All-Night Skate. I have a flyer.") (Chris S.)
..."Catholicism...Why the Hell not?" (Jen H.)
..."You are so @$&*ing gorgeous. Eat a Snickers." (Michael M.)
Monday, April 17, 2017
Finishing the sentence XXV
Tonight, I return to the '90s once again, for another one of my unfinished sentences and responses:
"The more things change, the more they stay the same." This is true...
...(when) I buy a toaster. (Dan L.)
...concerning the progress of literature and music. All stemmin' from the same root...but you know... (Paul I.)
...(considering that) God is all figured out by some. I look at it all through Michelangelo's eyes in "Creation Of Man." All that happens and goes 'round in faith an in failures is still a finger touch away from what some claim to know. (Jennifer O.)
...(concerning) jobs, classes, girlfriends, and vices. All these come and go, but this remains constant; they rarely go away before you're totally bored with them--and they with you, probably. (Michael M.)
...(when) I realize that, overall, I have pretty much the same thoughts running through my head now as I did when I was a toddler. Where's the animal crackers? (Liz F.)
"The more things change, the more they stay the same." This is true...
...(when) I buy a toaster. (Dan L.)
...concerning the progress of literature and music. All stemmin' from the same root...but you know... (Paul I.)
...(considering that) God is all figured out by some. I look at it all through Michelangelo's eyes in "Creation Of Man." All that happens and goes 'round in faith an in failures is still a finger touch away from what some claim to know. (Jennifer O.)
...(concerning) jobs, classes, girlfriends, and vices. All these come and go, but this remains constant; they rarely go away before you're totally bored with them--and they with you, probably. (Michael M.)
...(when) I realize that, overall, I have pretty much the same thoughts running through my head now as I did when I was a toddler. Where's the animal crackers? (Liz F.)
Sunday, April 16, 2017
It's church, not a pizza place.
Instead of attending Easter Mass today, I watched video on YouTube of Easter Mass from last year. It was rather off-putting to see thumbs up and thumbs down ratings attached to it. I wonder about the viewer who gave the video a thumbs down. At least, (s)he wasn't tactless enough to leave a comment such as, "The priest's sermon could have been condensed," "The organ sounded slightly flat," or "Was it really necessary to sing three verses of 'Christ The Lord Is Risen Today?'"
I'm still not sure it's a good idea to include thumbs up/down options on such videos. After all, it's Mass, not a movie.
I'm still not sure it's a good idea to include thumbs up/down options on such videos. After all, it's Mass, not a movie.
Saturday, April 15, 2017
A linguistic irritant VIII
Consider these two sentences:
There. That was satisfying. I'll continue to seek out irksome language usage for my ongoing litany of trivial offenses.
- I haven't eaten anything today save an apple.
- I haven't eaten anything today except an apple.
There. That was satisfying. I'll continue to seek out irksome language usage for my ongoing litany of trivial offenses.
Friday, April 14, 2017
Finishing the sentence XXIV
Another one of my unfinished sentences from the '90s and its responses:
Although it's of little conversational use, the typical foreign language instruction manual usually includes a translation for a "much-spoken" phrase or sentence such as...
..."Where is the library?" (Liz F.)
..."I'm pregnant." (Laura W.)
..."My surname is..." "My family name is..." (Colin S.)
..."I'm picking out a thermos for you." (Amy S.)
Although it's of little conversational use, the typical foreign language instruction manual usually includes a translation for a "much-spoken" phrase or sentence such as...
..."Where is the library?" (Liz F.)
..."I'm pregnant." (Laura W.)
..."My surname is..." "My family name is..." (Colin S.)
..."I'm picking out a thermos for you." (Amy S.)
Thursday, April 13, 2017
"How do you like this tale that offers no hope?"
After reading a story I'd written, one of my high school English teachers told me, "That's good. You want to be careful not to be too cynical, though."
I decided against telling her that ship had already sailed. Looking back, it's interesting to me that at age 15, I was already perceived as overly cynical.
I decided against telling her that ship had already sailed. Looking back, it's interesting to me that at age 15, I was already perceived as overly cynical.
Wednesday, April 12, 2017
"Bags with handles? You've been holding out on us!"
"I don't know what happened," the grocery store clerk said to me during a recent visit. "We were sent these paper bags that don't even have (the store's name) on them. The handles are being removed from the bags so customers don't get used to them. When I heard that, I thought, 'Seriously?'"
That was my reaction, as well. Unfortunately, knowing how petty some customers are, whoever decided to remove the handles probably made a wise decision.
That was my reaction, as well. Unfortunately, knowing how petty some customers are, whoever decided to remove the handles probably made a wise decision.
Tuesday, April 11, 2017
Finishing the sentence XXIII
Tonight, let's go back to 1993 for an unfinished sentence that's atypical of the ones I wrote and the offbeat answers it elicited:
Alarmingly, the chimes will strike midnight, and then...
...Larry will be free, once again, to roam the streets of London, killing small children and pillaging the merry whorehouses of Piccadilly Circus. (Jason P.)
...the good fairies get replaced by the little monsters who drive us to do those things that are completely unacceptable in the light of day. (Tava S.)
...the donkey will have tea with the fly on the green fruity pebble. (Becky B.)
...Orson Welles will appear as Falstaff and bore us to death. (Anthony T.)
Alarmingly, the chimes will strike midnight, and then...
...Larry will be free, once again, to roam the streets of London, killing small children and pillaging the merry whorehouses of Piccadilly Circus. (Jason P.)
...the good fairies get replaced by the little monsters who drive us to do those things that are completely unacceptable in the light of day. (Tava S.)
...the donkey will have tea with the fly on the green fruity pebble. (Becky B.)
...Orson Welles will appear as Falstaff and bore us to death. (Anthony T.)
Monday, April 10, 2017
Primersplaining--in a good way
Years ago, at Borders Books & Music, I told a clerk that a book I was buying was "a strong primer on music." I pronounced primer with a long i.
"Primer," the clerk said. "That's one of those unusual words. It's interesting how it's pronounced with a long i in the context of painting but with a short i when it refers to a book."
After I paid for my purchases and drove off, I thought, "That was the right way to correct someone--explaining the difference between the word's two pronunciations politely. That's much better than saying, 'Arrrrrgggghhhh! Primer is pronounced with a short i in this case! Geez! Doesn't anyone know anything anymore?!"
"Primer," the clerk said. "That's one of those unusual words. It's interesting how it's pronounced with a long i in the context of painting but with a short i when it refers to a book."
After I paid for my purchases and drove off, I thought, "That was the right way to correct someone--explaining the difference between the word's two pronunciations politely. That's much better than saying, 'Arrrrrgggghhhh! Primer is pronounced with a short i in this case! Geez! Doesn't anyone know anything anymore?!"
Sunday, April 9, 2017
Finishing the sentence XXII
An unfinished sentence I wrote and its responses from October 1988:
There is no greater simple pleasure than...
...creating something and seeing your creation do wonderfully. (Sam B.)
...sitting in the woods, surrounded by trees and wildlife, unaffected by the expansion of civilization. (John H.)
...playing with a kitten. (Betsy B.)
...watching someone you love do something they love. (Stephanie F.)
...helping someone--it doesn't matter who--who has a problem and feeling satisfied because they resolve their conflict. (Fran H.)
There is no greater simple pleasure than...
...creating something and seeing your creation do wonderfully. (Sam B.)
...sitting in the woods, surrounded by trees and wildlife, unaffected by the expansion of civilization. (John H.)
...playing with a kitten. (Betsy B.)
...watching someone you love do something they love. (Stephanie F.)
...helping someone--it doesn't matter who--who has a problem and feeling satisfied because they resolve their conflict. (Fran H.)
Saturday, April 8, 2017
Flighty? In your own world a lot?
At least, you (probably) have never done this:
My college philosophy instructor told us he once drove from college in Kansas to his home state of Nebraska. He had a terrible time opening the car door. Finally, after jiggling and bending the key in every direction, he got the door open. While driving, he thought, "That's odd. I wonder why the radio's digital display is green. It used to be blue." Later, he noticed a pair of sunglasses on the passenger seat and thought, "That's strange. Who would have left sunglasses in my car?"
When he finally got to his destination and opened the door, it dawned on him. He had inadvertently driven a car that wasn't his from one state to another. The car was the same make and model as his, but the obvious clues that it wasn't his didn't sink in until he'd reached Nebraska.
The next time I feel irritated about misplacing or forgetting something, I plan to remember this.
My college philosophy instructor told us he once drove from college in Kansas to his home state of Nebraska. He had a terrible time opening the car door. Finally, after jiggling and bending the key in every direction, he got the door open. While driving, he thought, "That's odd. I wonder why the radio's digital display is green. It used to be blue." Later, he noticed a pair of sunglasses on the passenger seat and thought, "That's strange. Who would have left sunglasses in my car?"
When he finally got to his destination and opened the door, it dawned on him. He had inadvertently driven a car that wasn't his from one state to another. The car was the same make and model as his, but the obvious clues that it wasn't his didn't sink in until he'd reached Nebraska.
The next time I feel irritated about misplacing or forgetting something, I plan to remember this.
Friday, April 7, 2017
Finishing the sentence XXI
Another unfinished sentence I wrote and some responses it elicited in January 1989:
Surely, everyone has the sense to believe that...
...the only reason for school is to see what the limit of stress on students is and then double it. (Dani S.)
...high school is a false, sheltered way of life, and college is the key to independence. (Fran H.)
...the only reason for a good night's sleep is to dream about things that in real life are unattainable. (Carrie H.)
...Led Zeppelin is 15 times better than all new pop bull@#&*. (Will S.)
...religion is merely for people who don't have enough self-confidence to believe in themselves. (Brad B.)
...friends and family are priceless. (Mary C.)
...dancing sets you free. (Sarah G.)
...you should never, ever wear pink and red together. (Leigh M.)
...if everyone respects and cares for the earth, it will remain a good place to live--but I don't think everyone does! (John H.)
...the only things to believe in are the smile of a baby and the cry of a kitten. (Betsy B.)
Surely, everyone has the sense to believe that...
...the only reason for school is to see what the limit of stress on students is and then double it. (Dani S.)
...high school is a false, sheltered way of life, and college is the key to independence. (Fran H.)
...the only reason for a good night's sleep is to dream about things that in real life are unattainable. (Carrie H.)
...Led Zeppelin is 15 times better than all new pop bull@#&*. (Will S.)
...religion is merely for people who don't have enough self-confidence to believe in themselves. (Brad B.)
...friends and family are priceless. (Mary C.)
...dancing sets you free. (Sarah G.)
...you should never, ever wear pink and red together. (Leigh M.)
...if everyone respects and cares for the earth, it will remain a good place to live--but I don't think everyone does! (John H.)
...the only things to believe in are the smile of a baby and the cry of a kitten. (Betsy B.)
Thursday, April 6, 2017
Truth in advertising?
Although a TV channel listings writer probably shouldn't show a bias when describing a program, whoever characterized "Gilligan's Island" as "an inexplicably enduring sitcom" in my cable menu wasn't entirely wrong.
Wednesday, April 5, 2017
Pets are family members, too.
Years ago, I asked to take a personal day off from work after a family cat passed away. My supervisor's response was compassionate and considerate. "I understand," he wrote. "When our dog passed away, the best thing we ever did was get another (one.) Although (getting a new pet) never replaces the old one, it started a whole new set of memories for the family."
I always feel lucky to work for or interact with anyone who understands that pets are part of the family.
I always feel lucky to work for or interact with anyone who understands that pets are part of the family.
Tuesday, April 4, 2017
Freedom of choice--to an extent
I used to have some interesting discussions about theology with a grocery store worker.
"Where's the line between what's predetermined in our lives and the free will we have?" I once asked.
"Here's where the line is," he replied. "Do you know what you'll be doing at 2:00 next Tuesday afternoon? God does, but how you react to that situation will be up to you."
Obviously, your mileage may vary, but I thought that was an interesting way to spell out what humans can and can't control.
"Where's the line between what's predetermined in our lives and the free will we have?" I once asked.
"Here's where the line is," he replied. "Do you know what you'll be doing at 2:00 next Tuesday afternoon? God does, but how you react to that situation will be up to you."
Obviously, your mileage may vary, but I thought that was an interesting way to spell out what humans can and can't control.
Monday, April 3, 2017
Finishing the sentence XX
Another unfinished sentence of mine and some responses it received in January 1989:
The most useless, superfluous expression one can utter is...
..."Trust me." (Scott S.)
..."Are we having fun yet?" (Robyn R.)
..."Can you believe...? It was in the last place I looked." (Betsy B.)
..."I know exactly what you're feeling." (Sue A.)
..."Ooh! I bet that hurt!" (John O.)
..."Are you alright?" i.e. "You seem to have fallen off a 300-foot cliff. Are you alright?" (Jen E.)
The most useless, superfluous expression one can utter is...
..."Trust me." (Scott S.)
..."Are we having fun yet?" (Robyn R.)
..."Can you believe...? It was in the last place I looked." (Betsy B.)
..."I know exactly what you're feeling." (Sue A.)
..."Ooh! I bet that hurt!" (John O.)
..."Are you alright?" i.e. "You seem to have fallen off a 300-foot cliff. Are you alright?" (Jen E.)
Sunday, April 2, 2017
"The critters are doing well." And the varmints?
Years ago, I used to receive a newsletter from an animal shelter. It informed readers about cats and dogs available for adoption and asked for the public's financial support. In most respects, it was typical of such newsletters. The newsletter's author had one quirk, however. Animals were never referred to as animals or pets; inexplicably, the writer always referred to them as critters. (i.e. "The critters are eating and drinking again since being rescued." "The critters will appreciate having more space in which to roam." "The critters thank you for your support.")
I still wonder if the author was a kinder relative of Yosemite Sam's.
This newsletter author's penchant for calling animals critters came to mind years later at work. I used to supervise a night team of sports data gatherers at a previous workplace. Shortly after the company moved to a more upscale building, our manager told us it would be important to avoid using profanity during business hours.
"You never know when (name of an executive) will walk by," he told us. "All of us, including me, will need to be careful not to swear."
Although none of us swore constantly, occasional profanity went with the territory of a fast-paced, deadline-intensive sports job. For my part, during the early hours of some shifts, I turned into Yosemite Sam.
"Arrrrrggggghhhhh! That dad-blasted varmint!" I once exclaimed about a coach. "Why hasn't he turned in his team's stats yet?"
Wondering if anyone had received a fax or email with the missing stats, I walked over to the part-timers' row of desks. Momentarily forgetting who and where I was, I asked, "Have any of you varmints heard from that coach yet?"
Unfortunately, none of the varmints had heard from him.
I still wonder if the author was a kinder relative of Yosemite Sam's.
This newsletter author's penchant for calling animals critters came to mind years later at work. I used to supervise a night team of sports data gatherers at a previous workplace. Shortly after the company moved to a more upscale building, our manager told us it would be important to avoid using profanity during business hours.
"You never know when (name of an executive) will walk by," he told us. "All of us, including me, will need to be careful not to swear."
Although none of us swore constantly, occasional profanity went with the territory of a fast-paced, deadline-intensive sports job. For my part, during the early hours of some shifts, I turned into Yosemite Sam.
"Arrrrrggggghhhhh! That dad-blasted varmint!" I once exclaimed about a coach. "Why hasn't he turned in his team's stats yet?"
Wondering if anyone had received a fax or email with the missing stats, I walked over to the part-timers' row of desks. Momentarily forgetting who and where I was, I asked, "Have any of you varmints heard from that coach yet?"
Unfortunately, none of the varmints had heard from him.
Saturday, April 1, 2017
Footwear fit for a tabby
A week ago, I wrote about the importance of cats having proper footwear. As last Saturday's photo illustrated, Rosie enjoyed trying on slippers. It's also advisable, however, for cats to have comfortable tennis shoes. Rosie's brother, Sammy, illustrates this:
May 2006: Sammy with one of his preferred pairs of tennis shoes.
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