In memory of former co-worker Todd, who passed away recently:
The radio was on at work one night before a 1994 local election. A slimy-sounding announcer intoned, "(Candidate So-And-So), you said you wouldn't raise our taxes. You llllliiiied to us!"
Nearly everyone in the office burst out laughing at the announcer's sinister inflection.
"He once kicked a kitten!" Todd exclaimed, pretending to be the announcer. "How can you vote for someone who kicks kittens?!"
The commercial continued, listing the supposed virtues of the opposing candidate.
"(Other Candidate So-And-So), we can trust, however. He represents our values. Family. Patriotism. Hard work. Job opportunities. Economic growth..."
"Kittens!" Todd cried out.
In this contentious election season, surely we can all agree that no candidate should be in favor of kicking kittens. Todd's priority was the starting point of a sensible, winning platform, I think we can all agree.
