When the result of a major election, especially this recent presidential one, turns out differently than you wish, it's amazing how similar your reaction resembles the general daze of finals week in college. You might lose track of time, not sleep too soundly, not be too sure of how long you've actually slept, and eat at odd hours, if at all. Your anxiety makes you pace around unproductively, and it's difficult to check mundane tasks off your list. At times, you wonder, "Did I actually get that done, or did I just think about it?" This morning, for instance, I'm honestly not sure if I took my vitamins. I looked at the container and thought, "Did I actually take them, or do I just think I did?" I refrained from opening the jar, just in case I'd taken them already.
As one of my family members mentioned, being in public is difficult initially because you wonder which of the people around you allowed this deeply unsettling election outcome to happen. Everyone was cordial and orderly when I went to the polling place Tuesday; it's disheartening to realize that at least some of those ostensibly friendly voters have such a distasteful view of the world that they had no problem electing a disturbingly divisive candidate whose vision of the future has virtually nothing in common with mine.
A little while ago, a tree service worker asked me to move my car because a crew was going to be sawing limbs off of the trees. I moved my car, but as I was driving away, I thought, "Damn! I should have asked, 'Did you vote for the enemy, not vote, or waste your vote on a third party candidate?!' If so, I will not be moved!" Granted, falling tree limbs might have smashed the roof of my car in, and I don't need that. Still...
Tomorrow, I'll most likely go back to writing about non-political topics. 'Til then, though, grappling with this post-election disgust is no easy feat.
