A linguistic irritant IX

Admittedly, it's trivial.  Still, it's slightly irksome to hear or read sentences like these:

• If you have any questions, ask John, Mary, or myself.
• John, Mary, and myself will attend the conference.  

Just once, I'd like to hear anyone who speaks or writes that way to walk into a room and announce, deliberately incorrectly, "Myself am here!"

The proper phrasing:

• If you have any questions, ask John, Mary, or me.
• John, Mary, and I will attend the conference.

There.  The earth may now resume spinning on its axis.