Watchcat protocol DCXXVII

There are no regulations against two watchcats taking agility courses at the same time--or teaming up to catch a laser dot during those courses:

July 2008: Watchcats Sammy and Rosie contemplate a way they can both pounce on the laser dot simultaneously.

Watchcat protocol DCXXVI

As I said almost five months ago...:

December 2007: Watchcat Sammy allowed only his guardians and trusted guests to use his assigned sector's toilet paper.

Watchcat protocol DCXXV

Although Watchcat Sammy might have looked lethargic behind his food bowl, the food fueled his energy for confronting intruders in October 2016:

Watchcat protocol DCXXIV

Watchcat Headquarters permits occasional breaks for watchcats to wash their fur.  When a watchcat is doing that, however, the other watchcat has to pick up the slack.  Watchcat Rosie kindly did this for Watchcat Sammy in September 2004:

Watchcat protocol DCXXIII

Watchcat Headquarters honors its veteran watchcats by providing them with regal guard posts upon request.  When you've provided exemplary security services for years, there's some justification for wanting a security station that makes you feel in command:

June 2015: Watchcat Sammy sits atop his staircase guard post.

Watchcat protocol DCXXII

When a watchcat needs to take a moment to wash her paw, it's considerate of her to protect her backup watchmouse:

August 24, 2020: While washing her paw, Watchcat Collette keeps a protective paw over her watchmouse.

Watchcat protocol DCXXI

Watchcats have a lot of quiet time during guard duty; most of the time, nothing unusual or menacing is going on.  That doesn't stop them from being vigilant, however:

October 2010: Watchcats Sammy and Rosie stay sharp-eyed during watchcat duty, despite the lack of suspicious activity.

Watchcat protocol DCXX

Per Watchcat Headquarters, watchcats are responsible for the agility training of their backup watchmice.  During today's session, Watchcat Collette showed her watchmouse a menacing pose an intruder might strike...

...and congratulated the watchmouse for keeping a cool head and not getting rattled:

Watchcat protocol DCXIX

When a watchcat cranes his neck to look at something, there's a good chance a suspicious intruder has entered that watchcat's assigned sector.  This was Watchcat Sammy's indication in April 2008:

Then again, he might have just seen a tiny bug.

Watchcat protocol DCXVIII

A watchcat might request a brushing from his guardian, but only during a time when it won't distract him from his security duties:

2013: Watchcat Nemo might have been about to request a brushing.

The inevitability of a cat's bites and scratches

In recent days, my cat, Collette, has taken to hiding in the slats of a kitchen chair while I'm eating and then attacking my arms.  I'm sure she means no harm by this.  Still, it would be nice to eat a meal in the kitchen without feeling like I have to wear a suit of armor--or eat without putting my arms down at my side.

Watchcat protocol DCXVII

Thinking of repositioning a reading stand?  Make sure to get the watchcat's clearance:

April 2010: Watchcat Sammy prevents intruders from moving a reading stand to an unauthorized location.

Watchcat protocol DCXVI

When your watchcat has provided exemplary security, it's not unreasonable to reward him with a spoon-fed meal:

July 2017: Watchcat Sammy awaits his next mouthful of food.

Watchcat protocol DCXV

A watchcat must make clear to intruders, "You're not getting past me.  There's just no chance of that."  Impressively, Watchcat Rosie conveyed this without saying a word in June 2012:

Technically, yes; realistically, no

This scenario happens fairly often: I'm sleeping or reading on the sofa.  My cat, Collette, is sleeping peacefully on or near me.  Ostensibly, I could get up whenever I want.  Ostensibly, I'm Collette's guardian and get to determine what and when I do whatever I need to do.  Ostensibly, Collette should infer by this time that my getting up from the sofa isn't a negative reflection on her; it's just that I have other things to do.

Realistically, though, Collette is a young, feisty cat with sharp teeth.  So, I'll stay on the sofa a while longer.

Truth in advertising? XXXIX

It's amusing to see Three Musketeers take a cue from the affirmations on Taco Bell sauce packets.  Recently, some mini Three Musketeers bars I saw had wrappers that said, "You're awesome," "You're unstoppable," and "I appreciate you."

Three Musketeers has no idea with whom those wrappers will end up, so it's refreshing to see them think the best of people, regardless of who they are.

Watchcat protocol DCXIV

On August 13, 2020, Watchcat Headquarters received an anonymous tip about some intruding rapscallions making the rounds of people's condos and absconding with TV remotes.  Watchcat Lily created a barrier to prevent this from happening in her guardian's residence:

Watchcat protocol DCXIII

Among Watchcat Lily's skills is her ability to grab a twist tie quickly:

August 13, 2020: Watchcat Lily demonstrates her mastery of yet another agility training exercise.

Watchcat protocol DCXII

What do you do when your outdoor watchcat, Stray Cat, is on a break or vacation?  You ask your indoor watchcats, Rosie and Sammy, to monitor the outside from inside:

Fall 2001: Watchcats Rosie and Sammy watch over the backyard through a window.

Watchcat protocol DCXI

"Ah ha!" an intruder might think.  "I know how I'll evade a watchcat's steely-eyed scrutiny.  I'll just sit down in this chair and act like I belong here."  Well, no such luck:

During the '80s, Watchcat Headquarters sometimes assigned Watchcat Rusty to chair duty.  To his credit, Rusty took this responsibility seriously, even with poltergeist eyes.

Watchcat protocol DCX

While stationed at her guard post in August 2006, Watchcat Rosie kept one ear attuned to coded frequencies that Watchcat Headquarters transmitted:

Watchcat protocol DCIX

Some intruders might think, "This is the security guard, a harmless kitty cat?"  They'd be well-advised to think again.  Watchcats are more ferocious than one might think:

December 2015: Watchcat Sylvia at her guard post, looking menacing.

Watchcat protocol DCVIII

It's professional courtesy to watch over your fellow watchcat when he's on his nap break:

October 2003: Watchcat Rosie keeps an eye on Watchcat Sammy as he drifts off to sleep.

Watchcat protocol DCVII

Watchcat Sammy was serious about blocking his residence's front door--from the inside:

April 2007: Watchcat Sammy struck an unusual pose to prevent anyone from leaving.  I'm not sure why.

Watchcat protocol DCVI

Another overlooked duty of watchcats is making sure no one comes along and overloads a washing machine:

January 2006: Watchcat Rosie wouldn't tolerate anyone attempting to start the washer when there was too much in it.

Watchcat protocol DCV

Sometimes, watchcat guard duty entails using your back paws to shield your backup watchhedgehog from harm.  Watchcat Sylvia handled this responsibility deftly in June 2011:

Watchcat protocol DCIV

Sometimes, Watchcat Headquarters uses camouflage strategically.  Intruders on July 22, 2020, for instance, might have wondered, "Is that a real watchcat or a cat that was painted into the scene?"

She is real; in fact, she's Watchcat Lily.

Watchcat protocol DCIII

There's a gleam in the eye that some watchcats have--a gleam that says, "I'm your best bet among watchcats.  My reflexes are lightning quick."  Watchcat Sylvia displayed this justified gleam during agility training in Spring 2014:

Watchcat protocol DCII

Some of a watchcat's duties aren't widely known.  Did you know, for instance, that watchcats check tire pressure?

May 2007: Watchcat Sammy gives a tire his seal of approval.

Watchcat protocol DCI

Watchcat Collette does a commendable job guarding my residence.  However, I still think I'll have to employ a temporary watchcat to keep an eye on her.  I have a bandage on my left foot where Collette bit me this morning and three bandages on my left hand to cover a large scratch from her shortly after that.  Within two hours of these sudden acts of violence, however, Collette was her sweet, cuddly self again.  I'm not sure what to think.  There's no reform school for recalcitrant watchcats, as far as I know.

Collette: Misunderstood watchcat or manic tabby hooligan?

Watchcat protocol DC

The items Watchcat Headquarters asked Watchcat Sammy to guard in the museum were rather incongruous, but that didn't stop him from taking the job seriously in October 2004: